Page 202 of A Merry Mountain Christmas

“You’re not supposed to compare your children,” I say, which is about as close to sarcasm as I’ve ever come, but what can I say? Nicole pushes me to it. Still, I can’t pretend that her words don’t poke something slumbering inside me.

“Supposed to…? That’s your whole problem,” she says, getting out a flask from her bag and dumping something into her hot chocolate. She lifts the flask, silently offering me some, and I consider it for a moment before shrugging my agreement. Her boyfriend is her ride, and I’m going nowhere. So why not? Her lips tip up a little in approval, and my drink gets the same treatment. “You care too much about what youthinkyou’re supposed to do. There are no rules, Mary. Only the ones we set for ourselves.”

“Obviously, there are rules,” I sputter. “If there weren’t, I’d be out of a job. There would be anarchy.”

She shrugs. “There could be worse things.”

“Ilikemy job, and I’d prefer to teeter on the edge of anarchy than take a bath in it, thank you very much. Besides, you know why I can’t sleep with Jace.”

Another sigh, this one probably directed toward Aidan. “Can’t your kid get attached to some other guy? He’s got, like, two uncles in a ten-mile radius. A super-hot buddy is wasted on him. Find him a dude with a janked-up face.”

I feel like arguing, but then again, this is Nicole. There’s no point. Something tells me she wouldn’t understand the way it felt to watch Jace lift Aidan to put that star on our tree.

Fingers snap in front of my face, and I jolt. “You’re mooning over the buddy again,” Nicole says. “It’s not healthy.”

“Don’t you moon over Damien?”

She nearly spits out a mouthful of spiked hot chocolate. “Maybe,” she says with a smile, “but then I hop on his dick. So at least something good comes of it.”

“You’re trying to shock me.”

“I don’t need to try.”

I take a sip of my drink too, feeling the warm kick of the whiskey down to my toes. “Is this a ploy to get me drunk again because of what happened after the last time we went out?”

“You mean how you immediately got busy with Jace? No, but it’s not a half-bad idea. Or at least it wouldn’t be if your kid weren’t home.”

I look at her, shocked. She didn’t strike me as the kind of person who’d care about innocent ears and eyes.

She must be able to read my expression because she shrugs. “You’re a good mom. You don’t seem like the kind of mother who’d pull a peekaboo surprise with a new boyfriend in the house without any kind of warning.”

For some reason, her answer puts tears in my eyes, and because I suspect Nicole would leave if she saw them, possibly setting something on fire on her way out, I take a hearty sip of the cocoa instead.

“Thank you,” I manage in a mostly flat voice.

“So the detective you hired for Jace hasn’t found anything yet?” she asks, as if she’s ready to move on from talking about emotions.

“No. But he will.” I feel it in my bones. He couldn’t start working on Jace’s case immediately, so he’s only gotten in a couple of hours so far, but he said he feels it too—the kind of hunch you get after working around crooked people for years. Dottie Hendrickson would probably have a word for it, and possibly even a crystal to use in such circumstances. Maybe I’ll eventually be brave enough to go back to Tea of Fortune and ask her.

“Keep me updated. If he doesn’t, I will.” She doesn’t have any PI experience I’m aware of, and yet I don’t doubt her. I really don’t. If anything, she’s probably willing to cross lines that Dennis would only toe.

Again, I’m touched despite myself. Nicole really doesn’t have to do that for me—or for Jace—and yet here she is, offering.

“Speaking of which, what are we going to do about Glenn?”

I snort and take a sip of the hot chocolate. “Molly already offered to bring over a shovel and a shotgun. And Maisie tried to get me to adopt a guard dog. Then again, she’s been pushing different animals on me ever since she started the animal shelter. I think she’s just low on adoptions for the month.”

Nicole’s already shaking her head. “The best way to deal with a man like that is to fuck with his life. Just give me the word, Mary. I’ll have him buried under more dirt than Molly could hope to dig. Her arms are twigs, anyway.”

Somehow, I don’t think she’s exaggerating. The temptation is there, snaking through me. I could make him stay away. I could make him leave us alone. But I can’t do that yet. Not until I know his true intentions. And I’m hoping not to hear from him again until after Christmas.

It took me a few days to decide how to respond to Glenn. Ultimately, I decided on an email. Less of a chance for him to gaslight me, twisting things around to make himself look like the victim.

Yes, we can talk. After Christmas. If you sincerely want to be a part of Aidan’s life, I won’t stand in your way. I WANT him to have a relationship with his father. But he’s just getting settled into his new home. This is not about punishing you or taking him away from you at the holidays. You’veneverliked the holidays, and seeing you right now would dysregulate him. You wanted to schedule a conversation, so if it suits you, we can talk on December 26th. Nine a.m.

-Mary

It’s up to me, whether I let him see Aidan again. He signed away his rights, after all, willingly.

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