I glance up at Jace, taking in his drawn features and the severe line of his mouth. “It’s Aidan. I need to…”
And just like that, he softens. “You can take it in here. I’ll wait in the bedroom.”
I’m so flummoxed, so thrown, that my body doesn’t even remember to shiver at the thought of Jace waiting in his bedroom. At the thought of joining him there.
Actually, it does, but then he’s gone, and I’m answering, and Aidan is frowning at me.
My first reaction is, of course,thank God he’s okay. And then:this is not going to be good.
“There you are!” I say, peppier than I’m feeling. “Are you having a fun weekend with your grandparents?” I can hear them in the background, Ruth saying something about her readers, and Tom responding that she’s lost them so many times he’s going to buy them for her in bulk.
“Yeah. We decorated their tree.”
I feel slightly offended for our Charlie Brown tree, but before I can say anything, he asks, “Where are you, Mom? You’re not at Aunt Maisie’s or Aunt Molly’s. I’ve never seen that apartment before.”
“I’m at a friend’s place,” I say, turning away from the seating area.
“Which friend?”
Oh, God. Do I have to tell him? I’m about to say something about the new friends I’ve made—technically true, thereisNicole—when his eyes widen.
I glance behind me and see there is, in fact, one more personal item in this room—a framed photograph of Jace with Roger and Mrs. Rosa. (The fancy frame suggests it was a gift from Mrs. Rosa, unless Jace has a thing for frame shopping.)
Shoot.
“Mom,” Aidan says, his voice getting louder. “We discussed this. You shouldn’t spend time with Jace without me. He’smybuddy. Why are you in his apartment?”
The background noise on the other side falls silent, and I can practically see Ruth setting down her readers and Tom tuning up his hearing aid.
Shit.They’re going to pepper him with questions after this call, and given he’s been all about Jace lately, he’s likely to answer.
“I’m not going to say anything to make him stay away, Aidan,” I reassure him, hoping to God it’s still true.
“I want to go over there,” he says, his lip quivering. “You shouldn’t have gone without me.”
The guilt cascading through me would be powerful enough to supply the city’s electric grid. What am I doing here? Aidan needs Jace. Or at least he thinks he does. And I’m jeopardizing that for sex.
No, that’s not totally true, and if it were just sex, I doubt it would jeopardize anything. Even so, it feels wrong to put my needs before Aidan’s.
“When am I going to see Jace?” he asks, his face still pouty.
“I’ll talk to him,” I say with a sigh. “I’ll figure something out for next week.”
“Good.” He’s partly pacified, but from the look on his face, I know he’s still upset that he’s missing out. Then he passes the phone to Ruth without saying goodbye—not that I’m surprised—and she looks at me with a clearly manufactured smile.
“Found my readers!” she says perkily. “We were thinking of bringing Aidan to listen to carolers tonight.”
It’s not a great idea. He’s reactive to loud sounds and big crowds, something they should know, but when I open my mouth to say so, she smiles, a little sadly this time, and says, “We’ll bring his headphones, dear. He wants to go. Sometimes we need to take chances in this life, because it’s the only one we have.” Something sparkles in her eyes. “Now, you have fun with yourfriend. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
The phone disconnects before I can gather myself, and I’m left with the knowledge that she knows. It shouldn’t matter—Ruth is Team People Who Didn’t Abandon Their Family in thisdivorce—but it leaves me with an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Then the door to the bedroom cracks open, and Jace is standing there, and I’m left with a decision that I don’t want to make.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
JACE
I pace the bedroom, stewing about what Mary said, unsure how to feel.