Page 105 of A Merry Mountain Christmas

“No one needs to tell us anything, you dipshit,” Ivy says. “We see it. You’re a changed man. Hell, before all of this went down tonight, I saw you smiling and laughing in that booth with her at Ziggy’s. Despite all the shit that’s gone down with Dad, you’ve been happier lately. Lighter. Don’t you think that’s worth fighting for? Don’t you thinkshe’sworth fighting for?”

“Of course,” I say, annoyed. “I went in there to get her dog, didn’t I?”

“So what the hell are you doing? She was crying earlier, trying to run to you, and when she finally got to you, you acted like you didn’t know her.”

I swear and look down. “I did it for her,” I tell the floor. “She wants to keep doing the show. She doesn’t want to let everyone down.”

“I don’t think you’re telling them the full story,” Harry says knowingly.

“Jesus, did you get into the schnappsicles again, or are you just naturally this chatty?”

I look up at him in time to see his shrug. “Both.”

“Okay, fine,” I snap, irritated because I’m starting to realize how badly I’ve messed all this up, and like most people, I don’t like feeling like a screw-up. “She asked me if I’d go on the show. If the show could tell the story of how we ended up falling in love instead of her choosing one of those dipshits. I said no.” I rub my chest.

“Rowan,” Bryn says in thatyou’ve disappointed your big sisterway.

I bristle. “I hate all the attention this is bringing to us. I didn’t want any part of this. None of us did.”

“But it’s changed,” Harry says, gesturing to the computer. “It’s still changing. Admittedly, this will bring a lot of publicity to your family, but it’s not going to reflect badly on anyone other than your grandmother, and maybe you can use the publicity in a good way.”

“Yes,” Holly says. “This will actually be pretty amazing for our dating app…and Cole’s brewery…and your handyman business.”

“What about your cars?” Bryn says. “Have you ever thought about making that a business? Maybe this is your chance.”

“I don’t care about any of that,” I grumble, feeling overwhelmed by the suggestions because my mind is one on thing—Kennedy and the way I’ve screwed up with her. “I just want to make this right with her, but I don’t want the attention. I don’t—”

“Was she open to the idea of staying in Highland Hills?” Ivy asks with arched brows.

“Yes,” I murmur, her words like a stab.

“Ever heard of compromise, Ro?”

Thatyou’re an assholefeeling is fast becoming ayou’re an asshole and an idiotfeeling. I see another flash of Kennedy’s face from earlier. Of the tears tracking down her cheeks because she was worried about me and Jester. Other than Willow and the people in this room, no one’s ever cared about me like that before. No one.

“You’re right,” I tell them through numb lips. “I…I love her. I don’t want to lose her. I can’t. I just…I feel like I’m too fucked up for her. Doesn’t she deserve someone better?”

“Who?” Harry asks with a snort. “Jonah Highbury the Fifth? I’d rather see her marry a toilet bowl brush.”

Ivy pats me on the shoulder. “It’s nothing some talk therapy won’t cure.”

I cringe. She swats my shoulder. “Can’t I just talk to all of you?” I ask.

“Maybe,” Holly says. “But you’ll have to do a whole lot better at saying the things you’d normally bury six feet under with a shovel.”

“And then salting the scene and adding a cross,” Ivy adds.

“I think that can be arranged,” I say. Then I nod at the computer. “What are we going to do about Nana?”

“I think I can safely say that none of us want anything to do with her,” Bryn says. We all nod. “I suggest that we leave her to be miserable alone. Rory has graciously offered to pick up the tab if she ever needs to live in a retirement facility or get a home nurse. I’d say that’s where our responsibility to her ends.” She rubs her slightly rounded belly. “I know I don’t want her to have anything to do with the baby.”

“Thank God,” Holly mutters.

I nod thoughtfully. “Okay, yeah. Although I don’t think Rory should have to do shit for her, I’ll admit it takes a load off.”

“So let’s get back to the subject you’re avoiding,” Ivy says. “What are you going to do about Kennedy? Because if this werea romance book, it would really fizzle out if the guy decided his privacy was more important than his love life.”

This makes me flinch. I never, not for one second, wanted Kennedy to feel she’s less important than my desire to be a hermit. But I guess that’s exactly what I did.

---