Page 30 of Trouble Comes in Threes

Neely Kate let out a loud snort. “Then why did she leave Jonah’s church and go back to the Baptist church?”

I clenched my teeth. “That wasn’t my fault.”

“Maybe not, but you know darn good and well she was blaming that Jell-O incident on you.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Fine. You have a point. You take the lead.”

I was nervous as I followed Neely Kate over to the two women who were sitting in front of the TV watching an episode of Golden Girls.

“You’re crazy,” Miss Mildred said with a sneer. “Sophia is eighty years old.”

“No I’m not. My granddaughter told me the actress playing her was younger than some of the other actresses,” the other woman said in a patient voice.

“Fake news!” Miss Mildred shouted.

Several of the other residents sitting around the room shot her dirty looks.

“Why, Miss Mildred,” Neely Kate said cheerfully as she stopped next to them. I stayed a couple of steps behind. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Are you stalking me?” Miss Mildred demanded, looking like she was spoiling for a fight. Her white hair appeared to have been recently permed, and with her pale complexion, she looked a bit like a sun-deprived circus clown.

“We’re not here to see you,” Neely Kate said, still sounding gracious. “It just so happens we were lucky enough to run into you.” She smiled at the elderly woman sitting next to Miss Mildred. “We’re here to see Miss Adolpha.”

“Me?” Miss Adolpha asked in surprise. Her face lit up with excitement.

“That’s right,” Neely Kate said. “Would it be okay if we sat down for a chat?”

“We were talking,” Miss Mildred snapped, her eyes burning into me, making it obvious she still held a grudge.

“That’s okay,” Miss Adolpha said, waving a hand at her. “We can talk any old time.”

Miss Mildred grabbed the cane next to her chair and used it to stand. “In that case, I’m not saving you a spot at yoga.”

Neely Kate’s eyes lit up. “Y’all have yoga here?”

“We’ve got all kinds of things here,” Miss Adolpha said. “I should have moved in here years ago.”

“The place wasn’t here years,” ago Miss Mildred said in a haughty tone, still struggling to get to her feet. Against my better judgment, I reached over to help her.

She swung her cane toward me, and I barely jumped out of the way in time.

“Mildred!” Miss Adolpha said in alarm.

Miss Mildred’s face turned red as she struggled to regain her balance. “She nearly caused me to break my hip the last time she touched me!”

“That’s an exaggeration,” I said with a sigh. “You didn’t fall.”

“Well, if I had, I could have broken my hip.”

“And I could have won the Powerball this morning if I’d bought a ticket,” Neely Kate said. “And Rose could have woken up and looked like a movie star if she’d gotten more than five or six hours of sleep.”

“Hey!” I protested.

She ignored me and continued, “You can’t live your life with woulda, coulda, shouldas, Miss Mildred.” Then, after a moment’s hesitation, she added, “You’re just a sore loser.”

Miss Mildred’s mouth dropped open wide enough we could see her bridge was missing in her back molars. “Well, I never!” she said, her eyes blazing.

Neely Kate propped a hand on her hip. “Had good manners? That’s super obvious.”

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