Page 54 of Long Gone

Hadn’t the same thought occurred to me?

“No need for concern,” Carter said sympathetically. “Skeeter has no intention of bringing you down. He’s hoping you won’t do the same to him.”

“I’ve kept quiet, haven’t I?”

“Skeeter’s not interested in self-annihilation, and we presume you’re not a fan of it either.”

“You’re both correct,” I said, feeling unsettled. Because, hearing him say it, I knew that wasn’t the reason I’d held back. No. I was glad those men were dead.

I got up again but headed for the dry bar and poured myself another drink.

What was happening to me? Sure, I’d killed before, but that had always been in self-defense or to protect someone else. I’d never killed anyone in cold blood, yet everything inside me wished I’d been able to watch the life bleed out of Dan Sylvester, just like he’d stood by and watched my sister get tortured. Except he’d gotten off on it.

“Is there anything you need to move forward with your search?” he asked as I took a gulp of the alcohol to clear my head. I needed to focus.

I started to tell Carter I didn’t need anything, then decided I might as well take advantage of his offer. “Do you know anything about Larkspur Limited?” I turned to face him. “They bought the Sunny Point property from the bank, and as far as I can tell, they never did anything with it.”

“Yes, from what I’ve gathered, it was purchased and never developed.”

I nodded and took a sip, still standing next to the bar. “I was out there this afternoon, and it looks like it hasn’t been touched since Hugo disappeared.”

“You were out there?” he asked in surprise.

“Yeah, but I want to go back. I need to rent some kind of four-wheel-drive vehicle to go over the rough terrain.”

“Why?” He seemed genuinely curious.

“To be blunt, I want to see if I can find Hugo Burton’s body.”

“The land is partly wooded and covered in tall grass and marsh in the low-lying ground by the river. What makes you think you’ll find Burton’s body when the sheriff’s department couldn’t pull it off five years ago?”

“Maybe because they didn’t do a proper search.” Not that I could do one on my own, but I still wanted to try.

He was silent for a long moment. “Okay. I’ll have a four-wheel-drive vehicle delivered to the Sunny Point property by ten a.m. tomorrow morning. Anything else?”

I tried to smother my surprise. “Yeah,” I said, carrying my glass as I walked over to his desk and stared down at him. “Who is behind Larkspur Limited?”

“That, Harper Adams, is the million-dollar question.” He grinned. “Something tells me you might be the one to find out.”

Chapter 13

I left after that, but I knew I was in no shape to drive so I walked to the bookstore a couple of blocks away. Nate was sitting in the front window, reading a book with a fancy-looking latte on the wide window ledge next to him.

He looked up in surprise when I walked in, alarm overtaking his expression when he saw my face. He scrambled to his feet. “What happened?”

“Can I stay here for a bit?”

He stood in front of me. “Of course, Harper, but what happened?”

I shook my head, trying to pull myself together.

I was a monster. Maybe I really had killed that boy in Little Rock in cold blood and had deluded myself into believing otherwise.

Nate was good and pure and everything I wanted to be. Everything I’d thought I was before the shooting last October, but maybe I’d never been as pure as I’d believed. Maybe the monster had always been lurking underneath, waiting to be let out.

I took a step backward, bumping into the door. “This was a mistake.”

“Harper? What’s wrong? What happened?” he repeated.