“And that was the end of my mother’s nightlife?”
“Yes,” Mrs. Lebowski said. “She was terrified when she found you missing. She swore she’d never put you in danger again. And she didn’t.” She paused. “She waited until you were older to go out again.”
“That’s what I’ve heard, but I don’t remember her going out. If she left me, it was for volunteering activities.”
“She didn’t go to Chattanooga, but right before she died, she started spending time at a local bar.”
“Chevy’s?” I scoffed. “That place is full of old men talking about the good ol’ days while downing beers. Unless it was different back then.”
“Oh, no. I’m pretty sure it was exactly the same back then. But that’s not where she went.”
“But there are no other bars in town,” I said. “At least not now.”
“There weren’t any back then either, but this place was just outside of town.”
Horror swept through me. “What? No.”
“Are you saying Maddie’s mother used to frequent Cock of the Walk?” Noah asked, sounding equally shocked. “I’ve heard it opened about ten years ago. The timing doesn’t fit.”
“Not that one, but there was another bar most God-fearing Christians steered clear of. Mad Hatter’s. It was rough and full of hoodlums. When it shut down, I heard the patrons all headed over to Cock of the Walk when it opened shortly thereafter. I know Andrea went to Mad Hatter’s from time to time. She told me so. I told her she was crazy, but she assured me that her boyfriend would keep her safe. She was more worried about her reputation.”
Aunt Deidre said she had a boyfriend when I was older, but I’d wanted to attribute it to her dementia. But something else stuck out at me. Mad Hatter’s. The wordwhite rabbithad been written on the side of the box. Was it a coincidence? I didn’t see how. But Bergan or someone else must have written it, not my mother. Which meant he knew more than he’d told us. Or had known more, before time had lost it to him.
“Was the relationship casual?” Noah asked. If he’d noted the connection, he’d ignored it and stayed on topic.
“Oh, no. She was very much in love,” she said.
In love?My mother had been in love with a man—a man who frequented a rough bar—and she’d never told me? I shook my head. “I can’t believe this. I don’t remember her having a boyfriend.”
“She never introduced you to him,” she continued, “but he was at your house quite often. He came when you were gone or after you were in bed.”
There had been a man in my house? Sleeping with my mother?
I pushed back the bar stool, the wooden legs scraping the vinyl floor. “I need some air.”
I rushed out the front door and began to pace in the front yard. Noah followed but stood to the side and let me pace for a half minute before he said, “I know this was a shock.”
I stopped in my tracks, giving him my attention. “You know how rough Cock of the Walk is. And if this Mad Hatter’s place was just like it? You know what kind of people hang out there.”
“I know.”
“Not only did she go there, but she brought a man from that place back to our house, time and time again.” The betrayal was so thick I was choking on it.
“I know,” he repeated. “But I find it hard to believe your mother would have brought a dangerous man into your home. She stopped going out because you wandered away in the middle of the night. Your safety was important to her.”
I shook my head, tears flowing down my cheeks. “I thought I knew her, but I never really knew her at all.”
Noah approached me slowly and rested his hands on my shoulders. “We think we know our parents, but I’m not sure we ever really do, especially when we’re kids. And besides, few people are truly good or evil. Your mom was an amazing woman, but she had needs that you couldn’t fulfill. That wasn’t a fault of yoursorhers. Dawn said she was wild. Maybe that bar and her boyfriend fed her wildness.”
“It was a dangerous place.”
“Maybe it wasn’t for her. They must have accepted her, especially if one of the members was her boyfriend.”
“Members?”
“Cock of the Walk is a motorcycle club, Maddie. If all the patrons of Mad Hatter’s moved to Cock of the Walk, it stands to reason it was one too.”
“Did you catch the connection with white rabbit on the box and that my mother went to Mad Hatter’s?”