Page 52 of Half Baked

“I know.”

“So why are you still here?” she demanded.

“I don’t owe him a damn thing. If he were to apologize, then I would come home for short trips to see him before he dies, but he’s dug his feet in the sand and refuses to accept any responsibility for the state of our relationship. In fact, the word pussy was used quite a few times during our Christmas chat, and I wasn’t the one who used it.”

“Noah, he’s scared, and he’s lashing out.”

“Jesus, Mom. Like you are?” I shook my head. “I have no idea who that woman was at dinner tonight, but I didn’t like her much.”

“I just see you slipping away…”

I drew in a breath. “Acting like you did tonight will only push me farther away.”

“But your father—”

I got out of the car and walked up to the door. My mother followed behind me, climbing the steps as I unlocked the deadbolt and pushed the door open.

I couldn’t look at her, so I faced the street. “Go on inside. I’m not staying here tonight.”

She gasped, then said in a strangled voice, “Noah…”

I dropped my gaze to hers. “I love you, Mom, but I can’t handle this right now. We won’t resolve this tonight, so before I go, let me state a few things so they are perfectly clear.One, I will live wherever I goddamn please.Two,I will love whoever I goddam want, and you will treat her with respect because, I swear to God, Mom, if you try that shit with Maddie again, it won’t just be Dad who doesn’t see me anymore.”

Her eyes widened.

“Three, I will not discuss Dad or his terminal prognosis with you, and I will not let it guilt me into something I don’t choose. He made his fucking bed, and now he can lie in it.”

I left her on the porch, mouth hanging open in shock, and drove to Lance’s apartment. When he opened the door, he took one look at me, and panic washed over his face.

“Jesus, you okay? I heard things got a little rough tonight.”

I ran a hand over my head, feeling more raw than I had since Caleb had shot me. “Understatement, and no, I’m not okay. Do you have any beer?”

“Yeah, come on in.”

I stayed in place. “One more question: Can I stay here tonight?”

He looked even more worried. “Yeah, of course. I’m always here for you, Noah.”

Lance let me inside, grabbed two beers from the fridge, and led me to the living room. I plopped onto the sofa while he took a recliner.

“What the hell happened?” he asked without preamble, which was fair given how I’d shown up at his front door.

I took a long pull from my beer before I answered, “You already said you’d heard things didn’t go well.”

“Not in detail, and you’re stalling. Spill.”

So I explained everything that had happened, including telling off my mother. The only thing I left out was our discussion about my father. By the time I finished, I’d started on a second beer.

Lance listened without comment, then said, “You’re an idiot if you let Maddie go.”

“I know.”

“You’ve left that woman hanging for nearly a month, Noah, and now this?”

My gut clenched, and I felt a cold sweat break out across my forehead. “I know it’s bad.”

“You’ve been different since you came back from your trip home. It’s like you had a personality transplant.”

---