Page 39 of Bad Luck Club

The problem was, she couldn’t decidehowshe’d screwed up—by crossing so many barriers with him or by misleading him about Dan?

She’d toyed with the idea of calling Bear—wasn’t she supposed to call him about stuff like this?—but something held her back. Because some of the club’s rules were nonnegotiable, mainly the one precluding any kind of romance between a sponsor and sponsee. If he knew, he wouldn’t let her bring Lee this afternoon, or at least he’d insist on someone else being his sponsor. Lee wouldn’t go for that, and she knew he needed the club.

Except…time for some radical honesty with herself—that wasn’t her only reason for hesitating. She didn’twantanyone else to be his sponsor. The thought of him sitting back-to-back with Dee or Nicole twisted something inside of her. She and Lee had formed a connection last night—as if vines had crept up from the floor of her house and bound them together. She didn’t want anything to tear those vines away.

The feeling of danger hadn’t gone away either, but wasn’t she supposed to be challenging herself?

Not by breaking the rules.

Some sponsor she was. She felt nearly as messed up as she had that first day in Asheville, sitting alone in the little house she’d rented, thinking,What now?

Still, she texted Bear in the morning just to say Lee was maybe coming.

Only maybe? Still struggling with your sales pitches, eh?

Ha. Ha. I think he’s still on the fence because he’s still worried it’s a cult.

There was a pause, and she could easily imagine him chuckling at that, or maybe turning to Cal and saying, “Get a load of this—Blue’s guy thinks we’re a cult.”

Finally, he wrote,Well, if he wants a cult, we’ll give him one.

Very funny. I want him to stay, not go.

And there was the rub. Shedidwant him in the Bad Luck Club, and not just because he clearly needed it. She wanted to spend time with him. To be a part of his life and have him be part of hers.

Which made it all the more important for her to settle things with Dan.

Dan hadn’t gone fishing at all, it turned out. He had “something important to tell her,” and he’d suggested dinner; she’d countered with an offer of breakfast. After last night, it felt like she should end things sooner rather than later. Preferably before she saw Lee again.

Now, as she headed through the door of the restaurant he’d recommended—An Egg-Cellent Adventure, which featured a mural of Humpty-Dumpty smiling as a spoon descended toward him—she found herself thinking about signs. Given she hated eggs, this felt like one.

Dan was already sitting in a corner booth, tapping a fork against the edge of the table in a nervous tic that seemed uncharacteristic.

No one was at the front host stand, so she walked over to join him.

As she approached, it struck her that Dan looked a little like Lee—his coloring and height were similar, and both of them were handsome men—but it felt like he was a pale echo of…

You can at least think it in your own head, Blue. He’s an echo of what you really want.

Dan got to his feet, and she realized that the fork thing hadn’t been a blip. He really was anxious. Hadhecome here to break up withher?

A girl could hope. Although she’d ultimately left both of her husbands, breakups weren’t easy for her. Her father had raised her to be a people pleaser, and although she’d never pleased him, that hadn’t stopped her from trying.

“Blue, I’m glad you’re here.” He waved a hand around at the schlocky décor—an oval-shaped jukebox and the walls painted to look like they’d been egged. “It seemed appropriate to bring you here because of what we did on our first date.”

He’d brought her to a breakfast place that only made egg sandwiches, so she’d eaten the bagel and left the egg. She’d admitted to him that she didn’t much like eggs, and apparently it hadn’t made much of an impression, since he’d basically invited her to an egg theme park.

Just like he kept wanting to go to breweries even though she didn’t like beer.

“That’s right,” she said, lowering into the opposite side of the booth before he could move in for a kiss. He studied her for a moment before sitting too.

It struck her that she could make this easy for both of them and level with him before they ordered and were forced to sit awkwardly across from each other, waiting for their food to be delivered. “Dan, I don’t think this is—”

“Wait,” he barked, catching her off guard. He’d always struck her as so even-keeled and low-maintenance, but he was agitated today. Edgy. “I know what you’re going to say, and I’d like you to hear me out first.”

She tilted her head, prompting him to go on.

“You’re upset because I’ve held back. Because I haven’t asked to be a bigger part of your life or invited you to become a bigger part of mine. You want a real partner.”