Page 82 of Any Luck at All

But she mumbled a little in her sleep, as if restless with bad dreams, and he told himself it was time. He went to her and crouched beside the couch. Touching her arm gently, he said, “Georgie.”

“Hm,” she said, stirring. “River.” She reached for him, as if the last two weeks hadn’t happened and they were still in bed together. As if he hadn’t signed those forms. And although he loved the partnership of working with her, a deep part of him wished that were true. If not being with her was the cost of working at Buchanan, it wasn’t worth it.

He took her in his arms because he couldn’t not do it, when she was reaching for him like that, but then he pulled away.

A painful awareness had surfaced in her eyes, the dreaminess of moments ago drifting away.

“Adalia?”

“I found someone who’ll help,” he said. “He’ll be there in the morning. He seems confident it’ll work out. I told him you’d be in touch with your payment information between 7:00 and 8:00.” He paused, wondering if he’d overstepped, then added, “I checked the flights from New York to Asheville. The only seat available before Saturday night is on a three p.m. flight tomorrow evening—or tonight, depending on how you look at it. I went ahead and booked it. I realize it might not end up working out, but I figured it was worth doing.” He paused, hesitating to reveal he’d bought it, but he also didn’t want her to think he’d rummaged through her things to find her card. “I used my card.”

She sat up abruptly, looking at him in a way he struggled to interpret, and Hops squeaked a small complaint that might have been a bark from a bigger dog and walked off, curling up on what River had dubbed his special sandal. River went to sit in the chair again, but Georgie stopped him, her hand wrapping around his bicep.

“Sit with me,” she said.

And he did, sitting close enough that their thighs touched, every point of contact searing into him. She took his hand and looked into his eyes.

“Thank you for doing that for Adalia.”

“I did it for you,” he said honestly.

“I know,” she said.

They stayed like that for a moment, the silence between them intense but somehow not uncomfortable. In that silence, there was a universe of possibilities. Of different paths they could take, but his heart only led him down one.

She spoke first. “I have a lot of regrets about the past, River.” Another pause, but the fact that she didn’t pull away kept him from wondering—or asking—if he was one of them. “My father might not have been a good husband, but my mother grounded him in some way. He became a hundred times worse after she died. It was horrible to live in that house. He was so judgmental. Cold. Cutting. And I left Adalia there with him. I could have gone to college in New York, but Harvard was my top pick, and I was so happy I got in.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, keeping her other hand entwined with his. “Truthfully, I think it was my top pick because I wanted toleave, although I didn’t think of it that way at the time. Adalia begged me to stay, but I told myself that she didn’t need me. That Lee would look after her until I got out of school.”

“This isn’t your fault,” he said, turning a little to face her. Needing her to see that he meant it. “You’re not to blame for whatever’s happening with her.”

“But Ilefther, River,” she said, her voice thick, “and things haven’t been the same between us since. If anything, they keep getting worse. When she got into art school, she called me before she told my father, and I messed up. I knew what he was going to say, how cruel he would be, and I warned her that he probably wouldn’t pay for it. That he would never consider art a career. My mother taught art history, and he always treated it like a hobby. Like it was something cute that she did.” She lowered her face as if she couldn’t bear to look at him. “And, to be honest, I kind of felt the same way about Adalia. I figured it was just a phase. So I have no right to be surprised that she’s kept her distance. That she hasn’t told me about her shows, her life. It’s my fault.”

He reached over and tipped her chin up slightly, so their eyes met. Hers were brimming with tears.

“I’m telling you it’s not,” he said firmly. “The only way of fixing something you feel you did wrong in the past is by acting differently in the future. By being there for her now. By owning up to how you feel.”

“How can you be so understanding?” she asked. “Ilefther.”

He understood what she wasn’t saying. His mother had left him like she thought she’d left Adalia, except it was a false equivalence.

“If you’re talking about Esmerelda…my mother,” he clarified, in case Dottie hadn’t confided his mother’s name along with the rest of his personal history, “then you need to understand the situation was completely different. She was an adult, and you were still a child when you left home. A grieving child. You can’t beat yourself up about decisions you made before you had the perspective to understand what you were doing. Besides, it’s not like you disappeared off the face of the earth. I’m sure you called and texted.” He felt himself grin a little at that. “Probably more than she would have liked.”

She smiled back, but it had to be the saddest smile he’d ever seen. “I guess I did.” She paused, looking conflicted, then shook it off and added, “I’m so sorry that happened to you, River.”

“I’m not,” he said, and to his surprise, he somewhat meant it. “The best thing she could have done was to leave me with Aunt Dottie. I think maybe she knew that. She’s not a very happy person. I don’t think she ever really wanted a child or knew what to do with me. She didn’t even know what to do with herself. We moved every few months, but I don’t think she ever found what she was looking for.”

“I didn’t mean to make you talk about this,” she said, but he could tell it was because she worried about making him uncomfortable, not because she didn’t want to know. And he found himself surprisingly okay with letting Georgie in. With spilling his secrets to her.

Because she’s already in your heart, a voice whispered.

“It’s okay,” he said, squeezing her hand. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but I don’t want to shift the focus off you right now. This is about you and Adalia. And you should consider the fact that your sister called you when this happened. Not your father. Not your brother. You. That means everything in the world.”

The look in her eyes changed then, something fierce flashing in them.

“And I came to you,” she said.

“You did,” he said, his soft tone belying the sudden pounding of his heart. “And you always can, Georgie.Always.But I have to know why.”

She looked down again, and for a moment he was afraid she was going to pull away, but if anything she tightened her grip on his hand. When she looked up again, her eyes were full of purpose.

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