Page 64 of For the Birds

He held my gaze, not budging. “It seems to me it’s the best time to have it if you want honesty. It’s the only time we’re truly honest with each other. If you’re more concerned about me being sensible, then we should get dressed. For us, the two don’t seem to go hand inhand.”

I stared into his eyes, torn, but I finally said, “I need your honesty more.” I hoped good sense would follow for both ofus.

A soft smile lit up his face. He thought he’d already won this conversation.

“Let’s say we keep doin’ this,” I said. “How do you see that happenin’?”

“We used to meet on Tuesday nights. We’ll just change the location.”

“We met for an hour. That’s enough foryou?”

His face lowered to my neck, and he began to kiss and nip. “I’ll need way more than anhour.”

I pushed his face back up to look at me. “So for how long? And where would wemeet?”

He turned serious. “We can meet here. It’s the safest place. And I want you all night.” He practically growled the last part and a thrill shivered throughme.

His eyes lit up. He’d noticed.

“So once a week? That would be enough?” I asked matter-of-factly.

“Hell, no, it’s not enough. I’d have you in my bed every damn night if I could.”

“But you can’t, can you? You’re not even here every night. When you brought me here before, you said you only come twice aweek.”

“Then you should do thesame.”

“Until this has run its course?”

“How soon do you think it will take for this to run its course, Lady?” There was an edge to his voice that I couldn’t interpret.

I made a slight gesture toward him. “We’re here for honesty. Are you sure you can handleit?”

“What’s that supposed tomean?”

“It means I’m about to lay my heart bare for you, James Malcolm, and I need you to do thesame.”

Some of the softness left his eyes. I knew where this path would lead, yet I had to travel it anyway. My self-respect demandedit.

“I’m not the kind of woman who has flings. I thought I could try it with you, but maybe we have too much history. Too much respect for each other. I’m fallin’ for you. Hard. When I tried to convince you to start something, you told me that I was the kind of woman who needed a family and kids. Part of me isn’t so sure anymore. How can I go back to a quiet life after seeing the things I’ve seen, doing the things I’ve done? The thing is, deep down, I still want those things. Not right now, but down the road that’s what I want—what I need. But it’s not just me here, James. You’re an equal part of this, and I need you to be honest with me and tell me what youwant.”

“You want to hear me say that I want to get married and have kids and put a picket fence around this place so we can play house?” he said with an undercurrent of anger. “Because I already told you that’s notme.”

“No. I want you to tell me the truth. What do you want for your life? Where do you see yourself in ten years? Twenty?”

“This is the only life I’ve ever known.”

“I know. I know.” I ran my fingertips down the side of his face. “But is it what you want for the rest of yourlife?”

“What I want is irrelevant. Wheels have been set in motion that can’t be stopped.”

I shook my head. “I don’t believe that’strue.”

“Then you’re livin’ in fairyland. There’s no walkin’ away from the kind of life I’ve chosen, Rose. I keep tellin’ Jed that, but he’s got his head up in the clouds over Neely Kate. Love makes people stupid. It makes them believe the impossible.”

That caught me off guard. “You think Jed’s in love with NeelyKate?”

“That’s what you pick upon?”

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