Page 56 of For the Birds

“Three weeks isn’t long enough, Rose. We need to give it moretime.”

I pulled him close and rested my head on his shoulder. He was probably right. If we allowed more time to elapse, people would eventually forget. They’d think James, who was notorious for keeping company with a lot of women, would move on. Three weeks hadn’t been long enough.

He’d betrayed me over the necklace to make me stay away. Well, if we needed to put distance between us, it was time for me to step up and help carry the burden. And it was time for me to try and protect him like he’d always protectedme.

I lifted my head and looked into his face again. “Dermot found me on the phone with you. He said they’d been counting on me callin’ you.” I paused. “I gave them more proof that there was a connection between us because I did call you. You were the first person I thought of.” I shook my head. I felt like my heart was ripping in two, but I forced myself to keep talking. “I can’t call you when I get into trouble anymore. From here on out, I need to rely on myself.”

The truth had hit me as I said the words. The thought of not having him there to save me made me feel naked and terrified . . . which was exactly why I needed to learn to do withouthim.

Despite the pained look on his face, he didn’t argue.

I put my hands on his chest and pushed him slightly, not enough to really move him, but enough to get my point across. I felt nauseous, not in my stomach but deep in mysoul.

We couldn’t do this, whatever this was. I couldn’t have an open relationship with the king of the Fenton County crime world. A secret fling might be exciting in the beginning, but eventually I’d want more. Because this was James, and my feelings for him would only grow. They’d already grown too large for me to put in anybox.

Even if we started a relationship, it wouldn’t be anything like the one I’d had with Mason—going to bed together every night, date nights at Jaspers and Little Italy, dropping by each other’s offices just to say hello. We’d be stuck in the shadows, sneaking around like we were cheating. And yet . . . while I’d always wanted marriage, kids, and a simple life, that kind of existence seemed too quiet for me now. Maybe there was nothing wrong with something more nontraditional . . .

The sticking point was that James was firmly on the wrong side of the law. It didn’t matter how moral he appeared to be. And while I’d skirted over the line a few times, I was still seen as a law-abiding citizen. I had two businesses. I had friends and my family to consider. I had a lot to lose, and if word got out that I was sleeping with Skeeter Malcolm, I could set fire to my entire world.

It was a lot torisk.

“Take me to the office,” I said, my voice heavy with unshed tears. “I’ll figure out a wayhome.”

“No. I’ll take youhome.”

He started to lift me off the trunk, but I put a hand on his. “There’s something I need to tell you first.”

His gaze lifted to mine, waiting.

“Buck Reynolds hired me to perform a task for him. That’s how he found me. He saw Landry and the other guy snatchme.”

His anger was back. “What’s the job? And tell me you saidno.”

“At your parley, I said that I was there to broker peace for the county. That I didn’t work just for you.” He remained silent. “If we really want to sell this—that I’m not connected to you—then we need to prove it. Which means I have to go through with it. I need to look like a free agent.”

His body stiffened and his eyes narrowed. “He knows about your visions?”

“No. Only that I’ve completed tasks for you and found his necklace when he couldn’t.”

“What does he want to hire you todo?”

My chin quivered and I took a deep breath. It was time to be strong. If I told him the truth, he’d either figure out a way to stop me or demand to take an active role in helping me find his brother. “If Buck asked me what you’d hired me to do, would you want me tellin’ him?”

“That’s bullshit, Rose!”

I slowly shook my head. “It’s not, and you know it. I’ve already agreed to do it . . . and like I said, I can’t keep callin’ you to be my backup. Not if I want to convince everyone I’m neutral. That means no more Brett. No more Jed following me around. After you take me home, we have to cease all communication.”

“No.”

“We can’t have it both ways, James. I’m in this world now as a mediator. I freely accept it. I made that decision when I set up the parley. I can do good for the county. I can help you keep peace. But that means I need to do this on myown.”

He spun away from me and ran his hands over his head. “You’ll be dead before the month’sout.”

“I’d like to think not,” I said with a hint of teasing. “I’m kind of scrappy.”

He turned around, anguish washing over his face. “Why in God’s name are you doin’ this, Rose? Go back to bein’ a landscaper. Marry that vet and have a family. Leave all this shit behind you and let me deal withit.”

A tear rolled down my face. “Some things are worth fightin’ for. Even if they don’t belong toyou.”

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