Page 76 of Trailer Trash

“He’s wastin’ his time with Rose,” I said. “I think she likes the dangerous side of him, but she’d never have a boyfriend who’s on the other side of the law.”

“And what about you?”

I gave him a saucy grin. “Skeeter never did anything for me.”

He grinned back, but something was missing in his eyes. “Good to hear I’m not playin’ second fiddle withyou.”

“Is that how you feel?” I asked.

He didn’t answer; instead, he asked, “What about being with a man on the other side of the law?”

“I’m not gonna lie. I would prefer to be with a man who’s not, but I guess it depends on what he’s up to.” I looked into his eyes. “What do you think you want to do when you go back?”

“I’m not sure I can go back.”

“What? Why?”

“Skeeter will ask me to come back, and if I tell him no, he’ll see my rejection as a challenge. But more importantly, my leaving will make him look weak, and he can’t afford to look weak now.”

I started to panic. “You’re not goin’ home?”

He reached over and cupped my face. “I don’t know what I’m doin’ yet. I know you need to stay in Henryetta. I won’t make you choose, Neely Kate. I would never make you choose.”

Tears blurred my eyes. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” he said, but he didn’t look convinced. “I’m not leaving you. Maybe we can figure it out while we’re feeding chipmunks in Colorado, although our relationship might be short-lived if one of us gets bitten and dies from rabies.”

I laughed away the tears. “We’re not gonna get rabies.”

“How do you know?” he asked. “Do they set up little cages so they can catch them and give them rabies shots?”

“I don’t know, but my cousins would know how to catch them.”

He had a mischievous look about him. “And eat them.” When he saw my shocked expression, he added, “Your cousins have a reputation.”

“You’re terrible!”

He shrugged. “But it’s true.”

He wasn’t wrong.

We stayed at the restaurant for over an hour, and I reveled in this time with Jed, filling up on his goodness, because I knew I’d need everything within me to get through the rest of the night.

Chapter 21

We pulledinto Slick Willy’s parking lot at ten. There were several more cars tonight, but nowhere near as many as there’d be on the weekend. I couldn’t help thinking it would be better to wait until tomorrow night, when we could get lost in the Friday night crowd, but who was I kidding? Jed drew attention from the guys due to his size and attention from the women for both his sizeandgood looks. Besides, the years hadn’t changed me nearly as much as they’d changed Stella. I looked pretty much the same, only I had a little more weight on me and probably looked less dead in the eyes. We’d draw attention no matter when we showed up. Besides, the sooner I did this, the sooner I could leave my past where it belonged and, hopefully, move on with my life.

Jed seemed nervous, and I couldn’t say I blamed him after my behavior the night before.

“Jed . . . about my freak-out last night.” Lordy, that seemed at least a week ago. “I know I already said it, but I’m sorry.”

He snagged my hand. “Don’t apologize. You’re working through a mountain of shit. My job is to be here every step of the way and support you.”

I turned to stare into his face. Several days ago, I would have taken his statement to mean he was following Skeeter’s orders. Now I knew he was doing it because he cared about me, although I still didn’t understand why. But he’d been helping me for months, and I was finally starting to understand how deep this went for him.

He started to let go and open his car door, but I tugged him back.

“Wait.” I scrambled to figure out how to bring this up. “When I asked Skeeter to help me look for Ronnie a few months ago, you told me you were there for me. You said you wanted to help me for me, not because of Rose. Was that when you first started having feelings for me?”

---