Page 63 of Trailer Trash

He gripped the steering wheel and squeezed. “More like I’ll want to beat the ever-lovin’ shit out of someone, and it sounds like Branson’s already dead, which means Stella might be next on the list. What about Beasley? Where does he fall in this mess?”

What Jed had said earlier was true. I had family and friends. I had a good life. I was scared that if the truth about my past started oozing out, it would poison everything I had now. Could I risk it? But Jed had been dealing with this piece by excruciating piece, and he’d finally put voice to the question he must have been asking himself all along. It wouldn’t be fair of me not to answer.

“When I first started working at the club . . .” My voice came out so soft I wasn’t sure he could hear me, but he went stock still, so I guessed that he could. “I was scared spitless, but I’m a quick learner and, like I said, Kitty was someone else, definitely not me. I’d been working there a few months when Zelda got sick. She had a cough that wouldn’t get better, and they kept giving her medicine that cost more and more money. They gave her a prescription that would cost her three hundred dollars. After all the other medicines she’d bought, she was flat broke. She couldn’t afford it. I tried to get Stella to help me cover it, but she said she didn’t have the money, even though she raked in fifty dollars in tips on a good night. So . . . I took Stan up on an offer.”

“Sex?” he asked in a dead voice.

“Yeah. Everyone knew I was a virgin. It was kind of Stan’s thing with me. It was a big draw.” I paused to let the wave of self-disgust wash over me. “So there were quite a few regulars who offered to pay to be my first.”

“You sold your virginity to pay for Zelda’s medication.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Yeah.” I took a breath and clasped my shaking hands together. “Two hundred dollars.”

“And what was Stan’s cut?”

“He got two hundred too.” I turned to look out the side window, too embarrassed to look at him. “Stan wanted me to sleep with other customers. It was illegal, of course, but somehow he got away with it. A lot of guys requested me, but after that one time, I swore I would never do it again.” A lump filled my throat as I remembered that night . . . the fear, the shame, the pain. “So I kept saying no, which only made them more intrigued.”

I snuck a glance to Jed, but he was still clutching the steering wheel.

“Do you want to hear the rest?”

“I want you to tell me what you feel comfortable telling me,” he said, but his voice was tight and far from comforting.

Would he really look at me the same way after I told him everything? Did it matter? I was guilty of everything I’d done. If he was revolted by me after this, I deserved it.

“I met Branson after I’d been working at the club for a little over a year,” I said. “Stella had hooked up with his friend. He had these boy-next-door looks, and he didn’t mind that I worked at Slick Willy’s. Sometimes he’d even come to the club and watch me dance. I thought he was different because he was paying me so much attention, and we weren’t even sleeping together yet. Just hanging out, and sometimes he’d kiss me.” Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back. “I thought he was different, so I finally slept with him, and while it wasn’t awful like it had been with the guy who won Stan’s auction, it wasn’t anything like Zelda’s romance novels either,” I said. “He wanted me to be Kitty when we had sex, not Neely Kate.”

“And you stayed with him?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Stella told me I was makin’ too much of nothin’ and that was the way men were. Besides, he was nice to me at first, and he had money even though he only had a job at the loading dock. But sometimes he would disappear for an hour or so and come back with a wad of cash. One night, I was with him when he made arun.”

I’d never told anyone this story, and a quick glance to Jed made me question whether I should continue.

“Drugs?” Jed asked.

“Yeah. Meth. Crack. And some pills I didn’t learn about until much later.”

He remained silent.

“I stayed in the car while he made his trade, but the guy noticed me and told Branson he’d pay to screw me. When I told the guy I wasn’t for sale, he laughed and told meeverythingwas for sale. Branson didn’t contradict him.” I stopped. I’d already come this far. I needed to finish the story. “A couple of nights later, I had a night off, and Branson was being unusually nice. He told me he wanted to take me out. He told me to dress up from head to toe, including sexy lingerie and my stiletto heels. I didn’t think much of it since it wasn’t unusual for him to ask me to dress like that, and besides, he was takin’ me out, something he didn’t usually do.”

“You don’t have to tell me the rest, Neely Kate.” His voice was thick.

“I do. I need you to know.”

“Okay.”

“So we went out to a club and we were dancing. Strangely enough, I’d been thinkin’ about breakin’ it off with him and movin’ back in with Zelda, but I decided to give it one more chance. And I was happy,” I said in a pathetic voice, clogged with tears. “All I ever wanted was for someone to love me, and Branson was finally makin’ some kind of effort, you know?”

“Yeah,” he said softly.

“But then the guy from the drug deal showed up. I got uncomfortable and told Branson I wanted to go. He said fine, but we needed to have one drink with this guy or Branson would offend him, something that would be bad for businessandhis personal well-being.” I closed my eyes. “So, like an idiot, I agreed. My last memory of that night was drinking with them while the guy undressed me with his eyes. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in bed the next morning. Naked, sore, and with a terrible hangover.”

“Branson roofied you.”

I swallowed and looked down at my lap. “Yeah.”

“Did you realize what happened?”

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