Page 38 of Trailer Trash

Tonight, I’d give myself the illusion that I was safe and protected and loved.

The harsh reality of tomorrow would come soon enough.

Chapter 12

Iwokeup with my legs tangled with Jed’s, splayed halfway across his chest. His body had slid down to a more reclined position, his head propped higher with pillows, but I was still wrapped around him like a monkey to a tree.

I glanced up at his face, surprised to see his eyes open.

“No nightmares?” he asked.

“No. It’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had in months.”

He reached up and brushed a strand of hair from my face. “Probably because you were so exhausted.”

No, more likely it was because of the man still holding me. I’d never felt safer than I did right now in his arms. In fact, I felt safer with Jed than I’d ever felt with anyone. Period.

Guilt quickly followed that thought. Rose had gone out of her way to make me feel safe and loved, especially after Ronnie left. Shoot, she’d let me move in with her. But deep down I had always known I wasn’t good enough for her. While we’d both been abused as kids, she’d only occasionally dipped off the straight and narrow path. I’d veered off it entirely, getting permanently stained in the process.

But Jed . . . Jed was more like me. We’d both done things we were ashamed of. And while he might think less of me by the conclusion of our Ardmore trip, I hoped he’d at least understand me. Maybe it was selfish, but I was glad he was here with me.

I lifted up on my elbow to check the time on the digital clock on the nightstand. “8:50!” I said in dismay. “How could I have slept that long? How long have you been awake?”

“Not that long.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up or, at the very least, shove me to the other side of the bed so you could get up?”

He put his free hand under the back of his head, propping it up. “I told you,” he said. “I haven’t been awake that long. It’s the first time in years that I haven’t had to get up for some purpose. It felt good to sleep in, and you were sleeping so soundly I didn’t want to wake you.” His gaze drifted down, and I realized my dress had hiked up on my legs. My butt cheek was hanging out and revealing a hint of my nude-colored panties. They’d been intended for camouflage under my white and blue dress, not seduction.

The memory of my behavior in the parking lot last night rushed back with excruciating detail. Horrified, I started to snatch back my arm and my leg, but Jed wouldn’t let me.

“Neely Kate.”

I looked up into his face, my cheeks burning, then quickly looked away. “Last night . . . I have no excuse. I was . . . it’s just . . .”

“Hey, no apologies.”

“I . . .” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I humiliated myself. I disgusted you . . .”

His body stiffened. “How could you think I was disgusted?”

“You . . .” I couldn’t go on; his rejection still suffocated me, not that I blamed him. I had no desire to relive last night’s disgraceful performance.

He slowly rolled me over to my back, his leg spreading my legs apart. He propped up on one elbow, looking down into my face. For a man who’d lived hard, his eyes were incredibly soft when he looked at me. “You could never disgust me.”

“But I was ridiculous.”

“No. You were hurt and you came on to me for the wrong reasons. I want you to want me for the right ones.”

“And what are the right ones?”

His gaze lowered to my mouth and he lifted his hand to my neck, his thumb lightly tracing my jaw. “You’ll know when you’re ready.”

I held my breath as my body jumped to life. Jed hadn’t even kissed me, yet he’d made me feel more alive, more desired, than I’d ever felt with any man.

His gaze lifted to my eyes. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“What does that mean?” I forced out, struggling to focus as his hand slid to my collar bone, his thumb tracing a lazy path down my neck.

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