Page 52 of Trailer Trash

A few minutes later, with his eyes still on the screen, he said, “Based on satellite maps, the Shenandoah Apartment complex looks fairly small, which means it will be easier for us to figure out where she lives. She has a baby, which should make it even easier. What does Stella look like?”

“She looked like a model. Tall and thin, with long, shiny blond hair. She was a favorite at the club. Men would go in on her nights just to see her. She’s gorgeous . . . or at least she used to be . . .”

He picked up on my train of thought. “Zelda suggested she’s an addict. What would she be using?”

“Meth,” I said. “She used it before. She liked it. A lot. But she fought it.” I looked up at him. “So she might not be as pretty as she used to be.”

He nodded.

The waitress showed up with our food, and I let out a little laugh when she set the large salad bowl in front of Jed.

“What?” he asked as she walked away.

I picked up a fry from the pile next to my BLT sandwich. “You don’t look like you need to go on a diet.”

He had a playful look that made him seem years younger and more carefree. “Have you been checking me out, Neely Kate?”

“It was hard not to notice there wasn’t an ounce of fat on you this morning . . .” I let my voice trail off suggestively, but I was grinning like a fool. Jed made me feel like the seventeen-year-old version of myself, the one who had compartmentalized all the crap from her past and pretended it never existed. The one who had foolhardily believed in love and romance and happily-ever-afters.

But that seemed crazy, in and of itself. Jed was seeing the ugliest bits of me. So why did I feel so much lighter with him? Why did this feel okay?

Belatedly, I worried that reminding him of this morning would make him turn surly again—just like he had after our second kiss—but he grinned back at me. “Maybe I’m tryin’ to be healthy.” He pointed to my plate with his fork. “Maybe I don’t want to clog my arteries.”

I laughed and ate another fry.

We turned quiet for a minute as I took several bites of my sandwich and Jed ate his salad, which I had to confess looked delicious. I picked up my fork and stabbed it into his bowl, fishing out a piece of chicken along with some lettuce and a piece of apple.

“Umm . . . this is pretty good.”

He laughed. “You want more?”

I took another bite, and he reached over and picked up half my sandwich.

It was such a simple thing, but the unstudied intimacy of it floored me.

Not the time or the place, Neely Kate.Here I was back in Ardmore, Oklahoma, reopening my own version of hell, but I was flirting with Jed over a stupid salad and a sandwich. Still, there was no denying he was keeping me suspended above all the bad memories rather than lost in the thick of them. I wanted him to stay—and our visit to Stella would help determine if he could handle the rest of it.

He noticed the change in my mood. “You thinkin’ about Stella?”

I stabbed my fork into his salad bowl again and nodded. “Yeah.”

“How close were you?”

“Close. Or so I thought. After Momma dumped me on my granny, I had a lot of friends in school, but it’s easy to keep people at a distance when you’re popular.” I realized now that I’d held them back out of necessity. “I never had a close friend until Stella.”

“And Stella helped you get the job at Slick Willy’s?”

I nodded. “Zelda tried to stop me, even though she pretended to believe we were working at a bar. I’m not surprised she knew. She was lettin’ us keep our dignity.” I paused. “Or more accurately, me. Stella wasn’t ashamed.”

“If you were so reluctant to do it, how did you handle the job after you started?” he asked, lowering his voice. “Some of the girls at the Bunny Ranch take to it like ducks to water, like Stella probably did. But some of them only stay because they’re desperate. You can always see it in their eyes. The Ranch is literally the last place on earth they would choose to work, but they need the money too much to leave.” He paused, looking uncomfortable. “The customers notice, of course, and those girls make less tip money. When that happens, I always try to quietly find the girl another job. Working as a waitress or a maid doesn’t pay as much as the successful performers in the club rake in, but those girls never get to be top earners anyway. Plus, they don’t feel like they’re selling their souls for a wad of one-dollar bills.”

He stared at his salad, looking embarrassed, but I was staring at him. This was further proof of what a good man he was. Leaving Skeeter was the right move for Jed. Granted, Skeeter Malcolm was a better man than I’d expected. Jed and Rose had made me realize he had morals of a kind, a rarity for someone in his position. Still, I knew in my heart that Jed deserved better. Something told me he felt like he was selling his soul, just like those girls at the Bunny Ranch did. Only, I suspected Jed did it out of loyalty.

“It was hard for me at first,” I said, picking up my half of the sandwich. “But I got used to it. I just had to become the person I created on stage, and when I left, I left her there.” I shrugged. “It wasn’t that hard. I was used to pretending to be someone I wasn’t.”

“Kitty?”

I gave him a wry smile. “Yeah, Stan gave me that name. He could see how shy I was when he interviewed me. He said I was as innocent as a newborn kitten.”

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