Page 2 of Obsession

“Don’t worry, Margarete,” I whisper. “I won’t let them ruin you.”

CHAPTER 1

Margarete

Istare up at my ceiling, unable to close my eyes and welcome much-needed sleep to escape the darkness of my life. My heart beats frantically. I’m well aware that nothing I do will calm my nerves. All I know of life is a cage that keeps me in my place. Dreams are worthless because there’s no hope they will come true. The best I can hope is that my prison guard will be merciful.

In our village, the day a woman turns twenty-one is the day she metaphorically dies. The day we are destined for doom.

I didn’t understand the depth of what we do to women until I was asked to be a witness. My parents thought I should understand what was expected of me before my betrothal. After witnessing the ceremony, my understanding is as clear as the rising sun. I cannot fool myself anymore. Lingering denial no longer whispers in my mind. On my twenty-first birthday, they will confine my identity and future to nothing more than chattel.

Ten of us stood in a circle around a pristine white mattress, our eyes cast down, observing the couple before us. Seventy-three-year-old Tobias Shaw’s wrinkled body on top of my childhood friend's twenty-one-year-old flesh.

I didn’t want to bear witness. I had no desire to hold her hand as she sealed her covenant. I certainly didn’t want to gaze into her sorrow-filled eyes as she fought unshed tears while pretending that her selfless act was willing. Her fear lodged like an immovable stone in my stomach, inducing nausea that I had to swallow before I vomited all over them. The whole ceremony seemed immoral. Unjust. How could a loving God wish this upon one of His creations? If our purpose was to serve men, why did He give us emotions or desires? It would have been more merciful to make us vessels with no capacity to feel or process beyond our duty.

Ruth offered me a faint smile and squeezed my hand. “It’s okay. It’s for God. We are righteous.”

She was trying to comfort me in her most horrific moment. She said the words we, as women, were programmed to believe. At one point, I would have taken solace in the vacant sentiment, but lately, my doubt had expanded into something larger. My hesitation had become fear and morphed into contempt.

“We are blessed today to witness the covenant of Sister Ruth and Brother Tobias,” Elder Thomas recited. “Through their union, our community will prosper, and our seal to God will be strengthened.”

“It’s okay,” Ruth whispered as I rose to take my position in the ritual.

“Please join hands around the holy union.”

I held my mother’s hand on my right and Johannes’ on my left. The ceremony was the only time unbetrothed men and women were allowed to touch, but I’d broken the rules. Perhaps it wasthe bending of truths I had been taught my whole life that unleashed my need to break the bonds of my society.

Johannes squeezed my hand, and a tremble coursed through me at the memory of his touch on other parts of my body. I couldn’t be sinful if God allowed me to want something more than my limitations. Could I? Would God forgive what we had done if it was for love?

My eyes shoot open at a tap on the window. Squinting, I try to decipher what lies in the darkness outside, but all I discern is the night sky. Perhaps it’s foolish not to wake my stepfather, but a part of me believes that whatever terror lingers in the frigid night air cannot be more horrific than what I will behold in the morning. Maybe I’ll die, and that will be the end of my duties.

My skin bursts into gooseflesh as I remove my duvet and step onto the hardwood floor. With careful steps, I hesitantly walk forward, peering into the night. My heart lurches into my throat, and I stagger back as a face illuminates in the moonlight. I slap my palm over my mouth to keep my startled shriek from waking my parents.

I straighten up and stumble toward the window, raising the paned glass to speak to him. “Why are you sneaking outside the window?”

Johannes gently pushes me aside as he crawls through my window.

My heart hammers, and my palms instantly become clammy with nerves. The last time my stepfather caught us in my room, he almost killed Hans. He called us sinful beings who would damn the entire family to Hell. My father didn’t understand thatthe bond Hans and I had forged was due to the Mephistophelian environment in which he raised us.

“Hans, what are you doing? If Father catches you in my room, he’ll follow through on his promise.”

Johannes ignores me and storms to my closet, pulls out a satchel, and hands it to me. “Pack a bag. We’re going.”

I stare at him blankly. “Going where?”

He snatches the satchel back, pulling clothing from my closet and stuffing it into the bag. Moving to my dresser, he yanks out socks.

I grab his hand to stop him when he opens my underwear drawer. I don’t know why, but the idea of his hands on my panties has me blushing. “I’ll do that part.”

Hans nods and withdraws, giving me space to open the drawer and remove what I deem essential.

I feel the weight of his gaze on me, sense that he’s watching. “Why am I packing, Hans?”

He grits the words out as if they disgust him. “They want you to marry John Tobias.”

Time stands still, and my body turns to stone. I can’t move. I can’t speak.

John Tobias?

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