Page 26 of Debugging Love

“No,” Kayla says forcefully.

“I think there is. If something happens three times, it’s not a coincidence. It’s a sign. Like, an answer to prayer. Surely you’ve prayed to find your soulmate.”

“Nope.”

“Your most adequate match?”

I shrug. “Maybe.”

“See??”

“What does it mean when you get the hiccups three times in one day?” Kayla asks. “I’ve hiccuped at least three hundred and thirty-three times today and it’s making me question the meaning of life.”

“Go gargle Dr. Pepper,” Morgan says.

“Does that work?”

“I don’t know. Try it and report back. Danni and I are talking about something important.”

“I’m talking about something important too.” Kayla pushes up her glasses and rubs her nose. “Danni, it’s all just a coincidence. The universe,ifit moved us around like chess pieces, would not match you with a jerk. If anything, Satan is trying to ensnare you.”

Morgan drops her ruffle. “You don’t believe in the universe, but you believe in Satan?”

“I grew up in the church. You know that.”

“None of this is helping me,” I cut in. “How am I supposed to work with that jerkwad?”

“I get why you said he’s a ten,” Morgan says wistfully.

“Not. Helping.”

“Sorry.”

“He’ll be across the room.” Kayla hiccups and then rests her hand on my arm. “You won’t even be working on the same project. It’ll be fine.”

“We work in a fishbowl,” I say.

“But you’re in your happy little nook with your happy little desk.” Hiccup.

“Painting happy little trees,” Morgan adds.

I consider Kayla’s positivity for a second. It doesn’t pass muster. “So, the God and Satan thing makes more sense to me.I’m pretty sure God is punishing me for killing the cockroach that scoped out my cleavage.”

“You actually think that’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

“It’s the most recent. Besides getting ‘cranky’ with Chance. But that was his fault, so it doesn’t count.”

“God doesn’t even like cockroaches,” Kayla says.

“A cockroach scoped out your cleavage?” Morgan asks, smartly moving away from pointing out my past wrongs.

“After I threw jerkwad’s trash in the dumpster.”

Morgan looks impressed. “The plot keeps thickening.”

“Did you throw up?” Kayla says after another hiccup.

“All over myself.”

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