Page 8 of Debugging Love

A few minutes later, our food arrives. Shrimp and grits for me and the Catch of the Day for Chance. We eat to the sound of knives and forks clicking against plates and lively conversations being had by everyone except us.

When we’re both done eating, the waiter takes our plates, and we’re stuck staring at each other again.

If I wasn’t on a boat, I could politely excuse myself, say I’m not feeling well, hightail it out of the restaurant. “So, why did you decide to come back to America?” The time will go faster if we at least try to converse.

“I already told you. I’m spreading my love.”

“I thought that was a joke.”

“I gave a detailed reason in my profile. Did you read it?”

I slouch in my chair. It hurts my rear, so I roll to one side. “I don’t remember.”

“What city was I living in before I moved to Charleston?”

I grab my phone.

“No cheating.”

“New York.”

“Austin. What’s my favorite restaurant?”

“Chucky Cheese.”

“Wrong. La Uppu. What’s my favorite food?”

“Curry?”

“Racist. No. Ice cream. You didn’t read my profile.”

I slouch a little deeper. “It was long.”

“You just saw my profile picture and you were on board. Who cares what he does for a living, what music he listens to, whatcountryhe’s from.”

“I figured I’d ask you on our date.”

“Blond-haired, blue-eyed white guys.” He throws up his hands. “They get all the dates. You proved my theory.”

“Did you pick that photo to manipulate me?”

“Maybe a little. For science.”

“You said you didn’t trust the biometric engine.”

“I don’t. I generated a bunch of fake humans and narrowed it down to the guy I thought would get me the most dates. You swam right into my net.”

“I’m not a fish. Also, I’m not your scientific experiment. For your information, I only pressed Choose one time. That’s all my coupon allowed.”

Confusion scrunches Chance’s features. “You don’t subscribe to the app?”

“No, why would I?”

“To find your soulmate.”

“Soulmates don’t exist.”

He looks offended, but his expression quickly resolves into resignation. “I knew this date was a bust when you started getting cranky.”

---