Page 58 of Debugging Love

Danni looks up at me, her eyes round and pleading. “Kill it!”

I glance at the spider for the first time. Oof. I believe the word I’m looking for is “yuge.” That thing is gargantuan. They grow them big in South Carolina. Nevertheless, “I’m not going to kill a living creature that isn’t bothering me,” I tell her.

“It doesn’t deserve to live! And if you don’t kill it now, I’m gonna puke!”

“She’s not lying,” Morgan says as she drops the trashcan next to Danni.

“Geez. Someone get me a cup or something,” I say.

“I will!” Kayla announces. She sprints off and comes back with a Styrofoam coffee cup from the breakroom. I grab it and investigate the creature that’s turning Danni into an actress on theScream 45set. Except she’s not acting. And that makes me smile.

I wiggle the table to test its sturdiness. Not great. “You’re gonna have to move. I can’t climb up on the table with you under it.”

“I amnotmoving,” she growls.

“Danni,” I say gently, offering her my hand. She spins around and faces the other wall.

“Nope.”

“Danni.” I wiggle the table again and it creaks on its hinges. “I’m moving the table.” Before she can object, I drag it to the side. She scrambles and presses her back to the wall while looking up. “It’s moving!” she squeals and then gags.

“She’s going to spew!” Juanita announces over the ruckus.

“Good gracious, it’s just a wolf spider.” Violet tosses up her hands and pushes through the gawkers to return to her desk.

“What’s awolfspider?” Danni says, followed by a dry heave.

I scoot the trashcan over to her.

“They’re hairy spiders indicative of a secondary pest infestation,” Violet says, her volume lessening as she walks away.

Danni looks at me with wild eyes, “What if this building has cockroaches?”

I crouch and grab her hand. “Let’s not worry about that right now.” Then I stand feeling fuzzy myself from our skin-to-skin contact–mentally, not physically. Well, yeah, physically too, but not like a wolf spider, more like a staticky balloon.

“You can’t stand on that,” Juanita says when I grab my chair.

“Why not?”

“It’s in our safety training. Gary stands on the chair to swat at a fly, falls and breaks his elbow in four places.”

“That won’t happen,” I assure her.

“It’s onwheels,” Juanita emphasizes.

“Which makes it more fun.”

“Stoptalkingandkillit!?” Danni demands.

“I said I’m not killing it.”

She hunches into the fetal position and buries her head in her arms. I roll the chair over, one hand balancing my weight, the other holding the Styrofoam cup, and stand warily, careful not to jostle the chair.

“I’m telling Christopher!”

Juanita ducks out, replaced by Bruce’s hulking frame. “Defying the union,” he says, his big smile expressing his approval.

I coax the yuge, but harmless-looking arachnid onto the back of my hand. Spiders don’t usually bother me, but this big guy turns my stomach a little. I’m not about to let it show.

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