Page 22 of Debugging Love

Drew looks confused, the nerd-spectacles so integral to his being that he forgot they were there, then he snatches them off his face, folds them demonstratively, and sets them on the table.

“Glad to see everyone is in a good mood this morning,” Christopher says from the head of the table. He sets his laptop down and opens it.

Christopher is short, part-Asian, surprisingly muscular. He’s rotating through various management positions as part of his executive training, but remains down-to-earth, approachable, and fun. Too fun, almost.

He drops into a chair that’s so low he looks like a toddler. After quickly adjusting the seat’s height to suit him, he turns on the flatscreen behind him. It surrounds him in a blue halo as he types.

“Fun stuff first,” he says.

Our upcoming team-building activities appear on the screen along with the dates. Christopher rubs his palms together, his excitement palpable. It doesn’t transmit to us. He’s undeterred. “This is the summer of fun people. We’ve got a full schedule.”

Violet groans.

“Tonight is Jeb’s farewell party at Stinny’s.”

Jeb, a thirty-something, red-haired contractor, raises a hand. He’s only been here two months. Not sure why he needs a going away party. His expression indicates that he doesn’t want one either.

“Our summer beach party is up next. You get six hours of admin leave, so no excuses. Bring your swimming gear. We’re going to have a superfun beach day whether you like it or not.”

No one objects. It’s six hours of leave. At a beach. That’s a no-brainer.

“The Temporal Grifter binge party is at Cassie and Luke’s house in three weeks. They’ve generously allowed us to use their theater room. The party theme is Mexican, so bring your favorite south-of-the-border or TexMex treats.”

“I’m bringing my empanadas,” Juanita says, “They’re hot. Spicy hot, with habanero peppers, so bring milk and tissues you crybabies.”

Christopher nods at Juanita. “Thanks for the warning.” He sweeps his eyes over the group. “You heard her. Bring Kleenexes and a gallon of milk.”

“I got it covered,” Bruce says.

Kayla hiccups. Her eyes go wide, and she covers her mouth.

“Spicy food causes hiccups,” Drew says.

“Seriously? I had jalapeño poppers last night!” Kayla says.

“Don’t eat my empanadas,” Juanita quips.

Kayla hiccups again.

“Breathe into a paper bag,” Abeer offers.

“Drink a glass of water upside down,” someone else throws out.

Hiccup remedies start bouncing off the walls.

“Stand on your head and recite the alphabet backwards.”

“Spin on your head three times while holding a beach ball between your knees.”

“Bungee jump upside down from the Arthur Ravenal Bridge.”

“Ha ha, everyone,” Kayla says. “I’m not doing anything upside down.”

“Bats sleep upside down,” Bruce says.

Christopher motions for us to quiet down. “Okay. Everyone.” He points two fingers at us and then repoints them at himself. “Focus, young grasshoppers.”

“Asians don’t train grasshoppers in the martial arts,” Reese says. “That’s a myth perpetuated by White male colonizers.”

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