Page 102 of Debugging Love

I fall back and cover my face with my hands. “It’s a figure of speech.”

“I do not like figures of speech. They are imprecise leading to confusion. Exhibit A: I have no idea what you are talking about.”

I prop myself up on my elbows so I can get a good look at Drew. “She likes you.”

“And I like her.”

“Shelikelikes you.”

Drew shudders violently.

“What? You don’t think she’s hot?”

“I do not like people butchering long-standing grammar rules for the sake of sounding cute.”

“You’re impossible.”

Drew pushes back his bangs and blinks at me.

“She was flirting with you the entire trip. She let you use her as a crutch and picked burrs out of your hair. Did you see the way she smiled at you just now?”

“Yes.”

“That means she has romantic feelings for you.”

“Oh. You should have said it that way the first time. However, I fail to see how any of this is relevant.”

I throw up my hands and lie back down. “It’s not relevant to me. I just thought you might like to know since you’re clearly oblivious.”

“What am I supposed to do about it?”

“You could flirt back.”

“I have never flirted with anyone. Please provide suggestions in the form of bullet points.”

“Tell her she looks pretty. Tell her you think she’s a good coder. Let her know you’re interested in her. If you are, that is.”

The AC kicks on noisily while Drew assimilates my orderly list. “I am not opposed,” he finally says.

I lift my head. Drew is sitting up now, his elbow on his knee and his chin resting on his fist.

“I kissed Danni.”

He looks at me cautiously. “Is this when we compare our sexual prowess?”

“No. I just wanted to tell someone.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” I really don’t. And I already regret it.

“Did she kiss you back?”

“Yeah. But I think she hates me.”

“Why do you think she feels intense, passionate dislike for you?”

“Well, for one, she doesn’t look at me the way Morgan looks at you.”

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