Good. I hate it when they struggle too soon; it takes the fun out of it.
I lift this smelling, fat drunk out of the trunk and toss him into the wheelchair I keep for this very reason.
Some of these people, like Sam, are way too heavy for me to lug around. I'm not throwing my back out for these fuckers. I'm 34 years old, and I'd prefer not to be in a wheelchair by 45, thank you.
I wheel him to the door that leads straight to my basement and push him out of the wheelchair.
I happily watch as he tumbles down the steps, laughing to myself that if he were awake, that would've really hurt.
I should know, I fell down these steps once when I first moved in; I was drunk. I about broke my fucking neck doing it, too.
This is why I have a ranch-style house. The only stairs I'm willing to deal with are the ones leading to the basement, and only because I can't avoid it.
I get Sam stripped naked and strapped into the metal autopsy table in the basement and remove the duct tape off of his face.
I want to know when he wakes up, but I'm not sitting down here waiting.
Fuck that, I'm starving and I want a shower.
So, instead, I turn on the cameras, having my phone set to alert me if there's any movement.
I mean, he can't move much, just enough to alert the sensors, but it's good enough for me.
I head upstairs, stripping my clothes as soon as I enter my utility room. I am not walking into my house in these stinking ass clothes and risking my entire house smelling like stale beer, sweat, and rotten piss.
Honestly, I should burn them, but these are nice pants. I'll just wash them by themselves.
Hopefully, that'll do it.
I toss my clothes in the washer with a hefty pour of vinegar and probably too much laundry soap and just hope for the best.
I'll throw the whole outfit away if I have to, but I'd like to avoid it.
Next step, shower.
I make my way through my house on the way toward my bedroom, marveling at the beauty of my home.
I may live alone and have a lonely life, but this house is perfect for a big family.
Fuck, I even have a fireplace in the living room. Not many homes in Texas have one, but I like to be prepared, especially after that rough winter a few years ago when temperatures got into the negatives for a few days.
It was a disaster; entire cities had no power, people died, and everyone suffered.
I will not put up with that shit again. So, I took steps. My entire house is powered by solar and wind energy that I create, so I actually make money on my energy bill every month, but I also can switch to grid power.
I even have a generator that can run on gas in case an emergency arises.
See? Prepared.
My only complaint about this house is that the sun shines right into my bedroom windows and in my face at sunrise. It’s nothing curtains can't fix; I just keep forgetting to buy a set that will match the house.
It's also not that high of a priority.
I take an overly hot shower, scrubbing every inch of myself with soap and water a little too hot, but I need to get the stench of cigarettes, cat piss, and cheap beer off of me.
How the fuck did that house smell like cat piss when there wasn't a single cat in sight?
I checked!