Page 60 of Searching for Valor

Finally, the terror began to recede, leaving him hollow and exhausted. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. 4:17 AM.

Too early to be awake, too late to go back to sleep.

He flopped back on the bed and draped his arm over his eyes. The sweat was drying into chills now, but the sheets tangled around him were too damp to provide much warmth.

The soft pad of paws on the hardwood floor pulled him from the dark spiral of his thoughts. He lifted his arm to see Valor standing in the doorway, head cocked to the side as he regarded Rylan with those too-intelligent eyes.

“What do you want?” he grumbled, but there was no heat in his words.

Valor took that as an invitation and trotted into the room. He hopped up onto the bed without hesitation and laid down, pressing his warm body against Rylan’s side.

Rylan froze, unsure how to react. It had been so long since he’d allowed anyone, human or animal, to get this close. His first instinct was to push the dog away, to snarl at him to get off the bed and leave him alone.

But Valor was a solid, comforting presence, and he found himself slowly relaxing, the tension draining from his muscles. He reached out tentatively and laid his hand on Valor’s head, stroking the soft fur between his ears.

It was… nice.

Valor sighed contentedly and leaned into the touch, his tail thumping gently against the mattress.

Rylan’s throat tightened, emotion welling up in his chest. How long had it been since he’d experienced this kind of simple, uncomplicated affection? Valor didn’t judge him, didn’t demand anything from him.

He didn’t deserve this comfort, this unconditional acceptance. Not after what he’d done. Not after failing his team so completely. But Valor didn’t seem to care about his pastor his failures. The dog was here, now, offering solace without judgment.

Something inside him cracked, just a little. A tiny fissure in the walls he’d built around his heart. For the first time in longer than he could remember, the tightness in his chest eased just a fraction. He focused on the rise and fall of Valor’s ribs beneath his palm, the rhythmic cadence helping to slow his own ragged breathing.

Minutes ticked by, marked by the glowing numbers on the clock. Outside, an owl hooted, the sound distant and mournful in the pre-dawn stillness. Rylan’s eyelids grew heavy, his body finally succumbing to exhaustion.

He knew the nightmares would return. They always did, dragging him back into that hellish memory, forcing him to relive the worst moment of his life over and over again.

But for tonight, with Valor’s grounding weight against his side, Rylan drifted into a dreamless sleep.

part two

valor

“Valor grows by daring, fear by holding back.”

-Publilius Syrus

chapter

twenty-one

No news.

It had been almost a week since Monica showed up at her door asking for her help, three days since she called and warned her about Julian Graves… and there was still no news.

Monica was still hiding.

Grace and Noah were still missing.

Izzy gave the information she had to Ash. He’d thanked her and then… nothing. And she was going crazy with worry, her mind spinning through endless worst-case scenarios. What if the kids were hurt? Or worse? The not knowing was eating away at her, leaving her feeling hollow and useless. She couldn’t investigate. She wasn’t a cop anymore, and she wasn’t a private investigator yet.

All she could do was wait.

And worry.

And fear.

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