Page 6 of Forcing Her Hand

* * *

Roger left a few hours later rather than staying the full night. Allison redressed in her pajamas to say goodbye. Somehow, prancing around naked in front of Roger just wasn’t the same as prancing around naked in front of Todd. She just wasn’t comfortable. They’d kissed goodnight, lovingly, lingeringly. For a moment, everything was right with the world, then he left, and she had the entire night to sit around and think about where things had gone wrong.

To relieve some of her nervous energy, she decided to bake some cookies. Who cared if it was midnight? Sometimes, a girl just needed to get on her oven mitts and get down and dirty. The internet was filled with an overwhelming number of recipes to choose from, so Allison just picked one for basic chocolate chip and got down to business. Thank goodness, Diana had started teaching her how to bake and cook, or she would have already been lost. Just reading a recipe could be so confusing if you never had before and had no idea what the difference was between one tbsp and one tsp.

A smile played across her lips as she had a sudden childhood memory flash of the Fairy Godmothers in Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. Too bad she didn’t have a magic wand to wave and make the ingredients line up and follow the directions for her… then help her find her Prince Charming. Allison’s lips tightened, and she focused on the recipe again.

An hour later, she was eating wonderfully gooey, warm chocolate chip cookies, even though they hadn’t cooled sufficiently and were burning her fingers and tongue. But that was how she liked them—warm and mooshy in the center, slightly crisp outside. Kind of like herself, come to think of it.

Piling the cookies on a plate, Allison grabbed a glass and put in ice cubes and three—no, better make that four—fingers of Bailey’s. It was her version of grown-up milk and cookies. Yum. She needed comfort food right now. She needed to sit down and do some serious thinking about what she wanted, maybe needed, from a man.

Could she really see herself staying with Roger if things continued the way they were? Okay, pros. Roger was incredibly thoughtful, sexy, sweet. They liked to do a lot of the same things, like dancing and going to museums and nice restaurants. Their tastes in movies were pretty similar. For the most part, she liked the way he treated her, and the little glint he would sometimes get in his eyes excited her. Her daddy not only approved, she had a feeling she’d been set up. Unlike her parents, Roger wholeheartedly approved of her working and thought it was great she was doing so well at her job. Of course, that could always change if they became something more serious, but they never talked about the future. She’d managed to avoid having “the talk” so far. They hadn’t even discussed exclusivity, although she wasn’t seeing anyone else, and she didn’t think he was, either.

Let’s see… cons. Well, he didn’t excite her or challenge her. Although he could—and did—bring her to orgasm, it wasn’t the passionate lovemaking she craved. He was horrified by even the idea of rough sex, judging by his reaction tonight. He’d probably have an aneurism if she suggested he tie her up or spank her. She giggled at the idea of asking him for anal sex—his head would probably explode.

Daddy would be unhappy if she broke up with Roger, and it’s not as if she had any other real prospects on the table. Sure, there were always guys interested in her, but at least she and Roger were mostly compatible. Even now that she was out of their house, there were times when she felt like she was living her parent’s life for her, not the one she wanted. The only time she’d ever felt really truly free was when she was with Todd.

But Todd had left her. That was the awful truth she had to face. She’d thought they’d had something special while they were together, but for Todd, it was only about the sex and the thrill of the game. He’d taken a job overseas and left her, with no indication he had any interest in ever seeing her again. Knowing he’d been in town and hadn’t even called or emailed or texted or… or… well, done anything to even let her know… that pretty much clinched the deal, didn’t it?

* * *

“Allison? Are you okay?” Diana’s voice woke Allison with a start. Guiltily, she sat straight up, then groaned at the crick in her neck. She’d fallen asleep on the couch after eating. She looked down at the plate in her lap, yep, almost an entire plate of cookies. There were two left.

“Mmmm, yum,” Chad said, leaning over and scooping one off of the plate.

“You’re welcome,” Allison mumbled only slightly sarcastically as she massaged her aching neck. Damn. Did anything look more pathetic than falling asleep by herself, after a date, with a plate of cookies in her lap? She supposed shecouldbe wearing a snuggie.

“Out,” Diana ordered Chad. “Girl talk happening. Now.”

Both Allison and Chad groaned, but Diana wasn’t someone you said no to when she was in this kind of mood—feisty little woman. Chad gave her a quick, cookie-crumb kiss, then was on his way out the door as Diana settled down on the couch next to Allison.

“Hi,” said Allison.

“Hi. So, talk. What happened?”

“Roger came over. We had sex. It was… fine. I was still kinda wound up when he left, so I decided to make some cookies, and it was late, so I must have just ended up falling asleep.”

Diana looked sympathetic. “Fine, huh? Not a lot of sexual chemistry?”

“Sort of,” Allison said. She pursed her lips and looked away for a moment. “If I’d met him a few months ago, I would have thought he was great. But now…”

“You compare him to Todd.”

Allison winced.

“That’s natural, honey,” Diana said soothingly, scooting closer. She snagged the last cookie left on the plate. “Mmm… yum, that’s good. Seriously, though, it’s only been a couple of months, and you didn’t really get any closure.”

“I shouldn’t need closure,” Allison snapped, then cringed at how sharp she had sounded toward her friend, who was just trying to help. “Sorry, I’m still wound up, I think. It’s just so frustrating. We didn’t even date, not really. He never gave me any reason to think things would continue beyond where they did. It’s just stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.” Snuggling closer, Diana wrapped an arm around Allison’s shoulders, pulling the bigger girl’s curly head down onto her own shoulder. Tears sparked in Allison’s eyes, brought on by her friend’s comfort and understanding. “You can’t always do anything about your feelings. Sometimes, they just happen, even if they make no sense.”

Well, wasn’t that the uncomfortable truth? Allison sighed.

“But I can move on from them. And I’m going to. I like Roger, I really do. Things will get better.” Allison just had to hope if she kept saying the words, they would come true.

* * *

Afew weeks later, Allison was getting increasingly frustrated.

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