Page 14 of The Road Sometimes Taken

Cara’s eyes trace the movement of my hand to my lap, sees me silencing the call and then her eyes shoot right to mine.

“You can answer that. I can cover my ears and saylalalauntil you’re done if you don’t want me to listen to your important business call,” she jokes, adding quotation marks to the business call part.

“It is a business call, Cara, and it can wait.”

“At this time? That’s probably a booty call,” she adds, sticking her tongue out and shaking her head.

“I don’t get those, sunshine. I don’t give my phone numbers to the women I fuck and I don’t date, so here we are. If someone’s calling me on this number, it’s business related, trust me.” And I mean it. In the beginning, I used to have my phone number listed but I stopped after I had a couple of stalkers—womenand men—calling me at all times of the day to ask tocome to my place. Now, I have two numbers: one for family and friends, and one for business. It leaks every so often but I’ve had a good streak.

The phone rings again and I decline the call.

“Then still, answer it,” she says.

“No, I’m talking to you. You were saying?” I add, turning my phone off.That’s new.

“Honestly?” Cara pauses, her voice trembling slightly before she continues, “I just want to do this one thing for myself. I want to explore, travel, and see all the places I’ve always dreamed of. I don’t want to do it alone, but I’m done begging people for their time. I’m tired of never being at the top of anyone’s priority list. I’m done pleading for people to want to be with me.”

Her words hang in the air, heavy with a mix of frustration and resignation. Cara turns to look out the window, her gaze distant as if searching for answers in the dark sky. As she shifts herself further away from me, I feel the immediate loss of her warmth, a sudden coldness replacing the comforting heat that had been there. The absence is palpable, a stark reminder of the emotional distance between us. The SUV feels emptier now, the silence more pronounced, and I can sense the weight of her words settling heavily in the space between us.

“Then do it,” I insist.

“It’s not that easy, Manny. I want to believe that I’m this independent can-do-it-all woman, and I’m sure I can, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to go on this road trip by myself. I think I like people too much. I like being around people too much.”

We pull up to her house and she tries to open the door but I hold her hand. That movement freezes time. A simple touch and everything changes. I can feel it in the air. I can feel it in the way she slowly turns her face toward me and when heremerald eyes get hooked on mine. I’m about to do something that I’ve never done before—I think I might take her up on this crazy trip. I might actually stop working and help her make this dream come true.

“Wait, let me,” I insist as I open my door, stepping out and offering my hand to help her get out of the SUV. She takes it and steps out, giving me a soft smile.

We walk in silence to her door. The wind blows softly bouncing through the leaves in the trees around us and Cara’s hair flowing with it. The soft light from the streetlamps reflects on her face and her eyes shine when I look at them. I’m doing this. I can’t look at her like this, so full of dreams but so sad at not making them.

“Let’s do it,” I announce. I want to sound confident, like I know what I’m doing, but I think for the first time in my life I sound unsure. Hesitant.

“Do what?” Cara asks.

“I’ll take you on the road trip. We’ll go and do whatever you want. Just make the list and I’ll take us there.”

Cara rolls her eyes. “Yeah, like you would leave your precious work for that long to do this for me. It’s okay, Manny. It was a dare, not a contract,” she adds.

But it’s not just the dare. There’s no easy way to say no to Cara and there’s no easy way to let her down. Seeing a glimpse of sadness on this girl who is usually such a light to everyone around her, it’s hard enough. She said she’s not been a priority to people, I’m about to make her mine.

“I’m not backing out on the dare,” I say, because what else can I? How do I say I don’t want to see her sad without making her feel like I pity her. “We’re going.”

“Manuel,” she starts.

“Cara, we’re going. I’ll stop by tomorrow and we can finalize plans, okay?”

“You’re impossible,” she groans, grabbing the keys from her purse and opening her door.

“To say no to?” I tease, smiling and she smiles back.

“Bye, asshole, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She steps into her house and turns around. “Are you sure? Don’t get me all excited for nothing.” This vulnerability that she’s showing me. This uncertainty is not like the confident Cara I’ve known for years and I’m thankful for it. I’m glad to see the friendship that I thought we’ve had through the years is there. The honesty in her words and in this moment is more than I thought would happen and I’m grateful for it, even if she doesn’t believe me.

“I’m a man of my word, Carita. See you tomorrow.” I wink at her and she flushes.

I wait for her to close her door and then walk to the SUV that’s waiting for me. And I think about how the fuck I’m going to make this work.

6

I’M NOT A MERMAID

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