Page 64 of The Road Sometimes Taken

“Of you, sunshine? Who could ever get enough?” Manny gets up, removing his shirt with one hand, like Adonis himself, and walking toward the bathroom. His workout pants hang low on his hips and when he makes it to the bathroom door, he turns around to look at me before saying, “I promise a good time and you know I can deliver.”

Fucking hell, I know he’s right. I shove a piece of croissant into my mouth and follow him into the bathroom to hopefully get in my Manny fix before the day ends.

“Bitch, you look stunning!”I shout when I see Allie in her smoke-show navy blue gown. Her skin glows under her dress and her hair pulled up in a bun with her curls falling over her face makes her look even more stunning than usual.

“Me? Look at you!” she says, holding my hand and spinning me so my gown twirls around me. I’m wearing this off-the-shoulder black gown with a slit almost to my hip. I thought I was going to die when I put it on and swore I wouldn’t wear it, but Manny had other things to say and he offered to buy it in every color they had. So I did.

“Enough about our fabulous selves, let’s go find our seats.” I pull her by the hand and outside to the patio wherethe ceremony is taking place. We ended up canceling drinks because according to her she was having hair issues, which I can’t tell by looking at her. However, I’m sure dealing with her curls can’t be easy all the time so she gets a pass.

It worked out in my favor in the end because my stomach has been in knots thinking about the possibility of seeing Tasha and Cole tonight. Manny can tell I’m tense because he spent all day exploring my body and helping me relax in so many ways. Or at least he tried. It’s not only the wedding that’s been looming over my head. The fact that our time together is coming to an end is bothering me too. I’m not happy about it and it’s stopping me from living in the moment and more like in my head. He, on the other hand, seems to be enjoying every minute we do have together. Taking my bracelet advice and making it his own.

We sit side by side, Jake and Manny next to us as we wait for the ceremony to start. Alex found the love of his life in Livie, something we never saw coming because that man is as grumpy as they come to everyone but us. We never thought he would ever let himself love anything more than football and his mom. When his career ended his whole life stopped, too. His attitude became worse and he was almost unbearable to be around. He healed through a shit ton of therapy and yoga but he still was a little dull. Then Livie happened, literally almost crashing into his arms and the rest is history. They dated for, like, four months before he put a ring on it and they decided not to waste time and get married right away. I usually don’t believe in insta-love but those two are proof that when you know, you know. My radar must be off though because I also thought I knew, and I was clearly mistaken. I’m hoping theirs is a lot better than mine.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I almost missed everyone standing up to look back at Livie walking down the aisle. She’sradiant in her princess style gown as she glides all the way to the arch at the front made with beautiful white and beige flowers. My gaze wanders to the second row in front where I see Tasha’s pretty blonde hair draped over Cole’s shoulder. I tense at the sight but quickly avert my gaze back to the soon to be husband and wife. When Livie reaches Alex, he steals a kiss from her before anyone can say a word.

“Sorry, I had to,” he says and the crowd laughs.

We take a seat and watch this beautiful ceremony take place while I’m constantly wondering if that will ever be me. Not necessarily the girl holding the flowers and wearing the pretty white dress but the girl walking to someone who is looking at her likethat.

“You’re beautiful tonight,” Manny whispers in my ear. “I meant to tell you earlier but I was starstruck and couldn’t form coherent thoughts.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I whisper back, squeezing his thigh quickly before settling my hand back on my knee. I force my attention back to the couple but my mind is completely torn thinking about Manny and about how good he feels next to me, and how much I like talking to him, and I almost choke on a laugh at the most inappropriate moment thinking about how fucked up this whole situation is.

Even if I were to tell him that I think I like him, what would he do with someone like me? There’s only so much I can give him. We seem to fit together on this summer road trip where responsibilities don’t exist and he doesn’t have to go to work functions and fancy events. When he doesn’t have to parade me around in front of cameras or investors. I’m his silly summer fling—a good time. All I’m good for.

Looking at the back of Cole’s head as the ceremony continues I remind myself of everything he used to say, not with his words directed at me but with his actions and littleinnuendos. Never taking the time to do anything I wanted to do made me feel like I wasn’t important. Never having a wedding talk with me and letting me think he wasn’t ready until he broke up with me and put a ring on someone else’s hand. I pump my leg up and down rapidly with all the thoughts swirling in my head. Manny brings his hand to my thigh, settling it down with his touch and grounding me back to the present moment.

“You may kiss your bride,” the officiant announces and we quickly stand up to clap for the newlyweds. I have a few minutes to get my shit together before I’m sitting at a table with Manny, Allie, and half our friends, pretending that I’m not falling in love with this man.

32

I’M GOING TO KILL HIM

LATCH (ACOUSTIC), SAM SMITH & PEACE, TAYLOR SWIFT

Manny

The wedding has been goingon for hours now. Wine, champagne, food, music, and dancing have been good for not only my soul but everyone else’s. Except I might be breaking from the inside out thinking about this trip coming to an end. How do I tell this girl that I’m in love with her when I know she doesn’t reciprocate the feeling? How do I ask Cara to take a chance on me when she deserves so much more? ?

I’ve been trying to keep her from running into the idiotic ex all night. I couldn’t avoid her staring at him during the ceremony, taking into consideration that they were sitting just a few rows ahead of us, but I sure as hell can avoid her running into them every other time. I could see how she tensed up or how her gaze kept going over her shoulder looking back most of the night. Always wondering if they were going to run into her, but I kept my mouth shut and just tried to guide her somewhere where they were not at.

She’s in the middle of the dance floor, dancing and twirling, having the time of her life and my eyes are nowhere else but on her and her pretty smile. I stopped trying to fight the fact that my eyes seem to keep roaming toward her no matter where we are or what she’s doing.

“You love her, don’t you?” Allie’s voice sneaks up on me and when I look next to me, she’s sitting there watching the dance floor where my eyes were just locked on the most beautiful girl with the pretty smile.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and think about how I’m going to answer this question. I think about what I want to say and how I want to say it but at the end of the day, there’s only one right answer to that. “Yes, I think I do. Actually, I know I do.” I turn to look at her and find her smiling at me with her caramel eyes shining bright, full of emotion.

“When are you going to tell her, baby bro? Because I can guarantee she can’t tell, even though everyone with two eyes can see it.”

“What can they see? That I’m completely fucked because the girl I’ve had a crush on for my entire life, might be the love of my life and she’s clueless? Or can they see that she’s so out of my league it won’t even matter if I tell her?”

“Oh Manny, why do you think that? From what I can see—the way she’s around you and how at ease she seems to be with you— she might love you too, baby bro. I had my suspicions before but after seeing the two of you around each other in Nashville, there was not a doubt in my mind. I didn’t even say anything to her because it was as clear as day to me. She’s also not out of your league. I think you’re perfect for her. You’re sweet, funny, kind, handsome, and annoying, just like she is. You both get along fine and honestly, she could use a man who puts her first and that’s what you would do, right? You don’t doshit half-assed which is why you never dated anyone. Because you couldn’t give them the time they deserved?”

Allie is asking the right questions. And if I’m honest with myself, that might be a big reason why. But I worry, who am I without my job? And if I’m giving my all to my job, there’s no heart to give to anyone else. But now, I know that the job can wait. I know I can be successful, or at least my business can, without me spending my life rotting in my office. I stopped answering emails and let them handle things. Yes, I lost Virgil’s account according to the email I read this morning, but at the cost of being able to breathe for the first time in years? Worth it. I may not have been able to think about this before this trip but fuck it feels so good. When I texted Gus to tell him, his only reply was “Thank God.” I guess he hated him as much as I did.

“I don’t even know who I am without being at work all day, Allie. Cara, on the other hand… I mean look at her,” I say, pointing at Cara currently dancing in a circle with all the kids at the wedding. Twirling the girls around, while her laugh fills the room. The music may be loud but her laughter reverberates through my body like every cell in me is in tune with her melody.I’m so fucked.

“Pure sunshine on legs,” Allie replies.

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