Page 41 of The Road Sometimes Taken

Maybe it’s the universe conspiring against me or maybe it’s telepathy but Manny says, “Pick truth, Cara. I want you to tell me the truth.”

Shivers run down my spine and I close my eyes. My eyelashes gently brushing my cheeks and letting out a deep breath, I reply, “Truth.” I hope I won’t regret this but I’m so tired of hiding.

I open my eyes and find Manny’s eyes on mine, looking at me with unwavering focus as he asks again, “Why did you freak out back there?”

I look at my lap, while my heart races in my chest. I’m sure he can see my hesitation and although the temperature around us is dropping, I can feel my skin flushing and heating me from the inside out. I’ve never backed out of a challenge so, despite my uncertainty, I say, “I thought you were going to kiss me.”

“Cara, look at me,” Manny commands with a firm but sweet tone. Bringing his fingers under my chin, he lifts it up so my eyes are right on him.

I do and find him frowning. He swallows hard. I can see him straining to keep his hands in his lap. “The thought of kissing me was so bad that you dropped a glass and were ready to runfor the hills?”

“Well considering you rejected me the other day? Yeah. The thought of wanting you to kiss me and realizing you don’t find me attractive enough for even a pity kiss in that moment I thought we were sharing, definitely had me spiraling.”

I get up from the chair, following the deep shades of twilight above the river, and walk as fast as I can away from Manny. The quiet murmur of the water barely breaks through the loud music left behind. But the further I get from the party, the more I hear the rest of the world around me. Loud cars passing by on the road and over the bridge, horns in the distance, and crickets in the garden. Before I can fully distance myself from the moment, Manny reaches out and grabs my hand in his gentle but firm grip.

“Cara, stop, please,” he whispers, pulling me toward him. I turn to face him and he adds, “Why on earth do you think I don’t find you attractive?”

“Well, I’m not your typical conquest,” I snap, my voice trembling with a mix of frustration and raw vulnerability. “You know, brunette, skinny, and leggy. So maybe I’ve been misreading things, and I freaked out, okay? Happy now?” My eyes burn with the intensity of my emotions, feeling like they might spill over any second.

I turn away sharply, needing to put more physical space between us, as if that might help me regain some semblance of control.

“Just… let me keep whatever dignity I have left,” I beg, my voice softening but still strained. “Give me a minute, and we can leave in a few.”

The air between us is thick with tension, almost suffocating. My plea hangs in the silence, and the weight of what I just said seems to linger in the space around us. Even with my back to him, I can feel it. I can feel the unspoken understanding ofwhat’s been said.I just told him Iwanthim and he didn’t say anything back.

“No,” he finally says, and considering how I feel my whole body warms up even more, I’m sure he can tell. Manny slides his palm into mine, his fingers gently cupping my own and then he’s pulling me toward him. He grabs my hand and brings it softly to his mouth, kissing it gently before placing it over his chest, right above his heart. I can feel his heart beat fast, matching my own. The hand that previously held my hand slowly goes up my arm, over my shoulder and holds my neck.

The warmth of his hand contrasts with the cool evening air, and there’s a brief, electric pause before he says, “I don’t know why you would think you’re not everyone’s type, Cara. And I didn’t kiss you the other day, yes. But not because I don’t find you attractive, totally the opposite actually. I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. It was because I don’t think I can kiss you once and ever stop kissing you, Carita mia.”

My breath hitches with that revelation as his soft breath tickles my lips. Before I can say anything, he tightens the hold he has on me and leans in to touch his lips to mine. His kiss is gentle, as soft as the way he whispered my name while we danced. Each movement is careful and tender as if he’s savoring the delicate connection between us. He takes his time kissing and caressing my lips, allowing every bit of emotion between us to build up.

He starts changing the dance between our lips from slow affection like a ballad to a faster, deeper, rhythm like a tango. Both of us explore each other’s lips. The kiss shifts, growing in intensity as his hands find their way to my face, holding me in place as if I was a precious thing he didn’t want to lose. The rhythm quickens, now more urgent, and the sweetness of the beginning gives way to a consuming heat, pulling a moan frommy lips and that’s when I remember what’s happening.I’m kissing, Manny.

I pull back, snapping my eyes to his, and cover my mouth with my hand leaving a gasp hanging in the silence between us that was just filled with the rhythm of the dance we just had with our lips.

“Cara, stay with me. Don’t get lost in that pretty little head of yours,” Manny adds, taking a step forward and smiling gently at me. “And before you can ask me, this was not a pity kiss. There was never a reason for me to give you a pity kiss. I’ve been dying to kiss you since I can remember.”

“Please, don’t lie now,” I scoff after dropping my hands.

“I’m not,” he says softly, his hands guiding my face to his and tenderly stroking my cheek. The warmth of his touch is at odds with the absolute chaos inside me, and his eyes, filled with genuine concern, only intensify my confusion.

“Don’t do this, Cara. Talk to me,” he urges.

“I just want to go back to the hotel, Manny,” I reply, my voice strained as I struggle to keep my emotions in check. The last thing I want right now is to figure out what just happened between us. He told me not to get lost in my head, but that ship has long since sailed, leaving me adrift in a sea of conflicted feelings.

He takes my hand, his grip firm but comforting, and I can feel the weight of Manny’s gaze as he searches for some sign of where I stand. I know he’s looking for a hint about how I feel after that kiss. The truth is, I can’t admit that it was the best kiss I’ve ever had—one that left me breathless and wanting more. I can’t tell him that every part of me is screaming to keep kissing him, even though I know I need to stop. My heart and mind are in a tug-of-war, and I’m caught in the middle, desperately trying to cling to whatever sense of control I have left. And to try to make sense of what the hell just happened.

20

PAIN OR PLEASURE

LLORAR, JESSE & JOY FT. MARIO DOMM & SOLA, LUIS FONSI

Manny

If someone had toldme two weeks ago that I would be sitting in the back of an Uber, on the way to a hotel room in Kentucky with Cara Thompson sitting next to me, looking all flushed and jittery after I just kissed her senseless, I would have said they were lying. Kissing Cara has always been a pipe dream. Cara—the girl who always irradiates joy. The girl who everyone wants in their corner. The girl that would make any man feel like the luckiest guy in the world. The girl who taught me how to tie my shoes at six and how to jump off a tire swing at ten. The girl who has been driving me mad for years, and I thought never saw me as more than her friend’s brother. And somehow, she kissed me back today, even after thinking I would only kiss her if I was taking pity on her.

Cara sits quietly, her fingers drumming against her knee as she keeps her gaze fixed on the blurred view. Each passing streetlight accentuates her expression and I can see the turmoilbehind it. She fidgets with the hem of her jacket, lost in that beautiful brain of hers.

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