Page 20 of The Road Sometimes Taken

“Jesucristo, Cara! What the heck was that?” he cries, his knuckles white and eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh!” I cackle. “Sorry. I guess I should’ve warned you. I love the highway signs, and that one back there was a jumping deer. It’s fun to shout their names as I see them.”

“You mean the deer crossing sign?” He turns right and pulls up to the park’s entrance. “And by fun, do you mean producing early onset heart attack symptoms?”

I roll my eyes. “So dramatic. What’s the fun indeer crossingwhen you can have a jumping deer? Plus, have you ever really looked at them? They look like they’re jumping, not crossing.” I smile at him, before grabbing my journal and making a checkmark next to our first stop.

“Where is this trail taking us?”Manny asks, walking beside me. This park is near Starved Rock, which is really pretty, especially in the fall, but it gets crowded quickly. This is like its little sister—with less people and more room to roam. There’s no camping or lodging allowed here, but for a quick stop it’s perfect.

We walk alongside each other, navigating through the dry trail surrounded by oaks and cedars. There are some blooms along the way and so far, we haven’t seen one single person. It’s quiet and peaceful and we’re taking it all in. The coneflowers and the milkweed are everywhere, adding color to the trail and making me feel at home.This,this is where flowers belong. Out in the wild, blooming beautifully around us. Not in some vase inside someone’s home, dying slowly.

We had a full argument about what Manny was wearing to hike. He was so frustrated, going on and on about how not all of us were planning on strenuous terrain. When he told me he was wearing slacks and I laughed about it, he snapped with a “What the hell am I supposed to wear, Cara?”After I explained that he would need more of a workout outfit, regardless of what it looked like, he listened to me and looked in his bag for something more comfortable. He’s wearing joggers and Nikes instead. which are not the best option with this terrain, but better than before with the dress pants and Ferragamos. AddBuy Manny hiking bootsto the mental to do list.

Tiny birds flutter their wings around us and make low tapping noises in the trees as we walk by. We can hear the water falling, alerting us that we’re almost to the waterfall—the main reason I wanted to come here. Manny may travel the world for work, but sitting at the bottom of a waterfall is not on brand for him. Sometimes you need to disconnect to be able to be yourself again.Thismight give him that. It might givemethat.

Walking around the bush-lined trail, we hear the splashing water intensify, and then we see it. The waterfall is spectacular; as Manny’s standing, taking it all in with his hands on his hips, I grab my phone and snap a picture. Putting my phone away, I get the picnic blanket out of the backpack and lay it on the ground. We have the perfect view of Giant’s Bathtub Falls and as its name says, it looks just like a tub. I sit, grabbing a couple of juice boxes from the bag, and wait for Manny to notice.

I wait to say anything because I’ve never seen him so in tune with what’s going on around him. His shoulders are not as tense as they usually are, and he hasn’t checked his phone once. That’s also a first. He’s been walking and watching. Taking it all in. His dark green shirt is tight against his arms, and it stretches across his back showing off his muscles. For someone who works as much as he does, his body is book-boyfriend-worthy. All chiseled, like a sculpture. He knows it too because every chance he gets, he flexes his arms or lifts his shirt to tap his abs. He’s so damn confident, and sometimes, I just want some of that for myself.

He finally turns around and when he sees me, he smiles at me a moment before speaking. “Cara, this place is beautiful.” He sits next to me, putting his backpack down and taking the juice from me. He raises his eyebrows at the Capri Sun, and I have no other choice but to smile back.

“The taste of a five-year-old, remember?” I say, popping a grape into my mouth. I brought a snack tray in my cooler backpack, and it was the best decision. Because even though it’s not really lunch time yet for regular grown-ups, I’m still on an internal school schedule and our lunch tends to be early, so I’m starving.

“I didn’t know you liked hiking this much,” Manny admits, grabbing some vegetables and holding them in a napkin.

“Do you want the long story or the short?” I ask, hoping hesays short because I don’t know if I truly want to go into full detail…but also secretly hoping he does say long because he’s a great listener.

“Long, always.” He smirks and I throw a grape at him.

“Grow up, Manny.”

“You’re the one eating a ham and cheese Lunchable with a Capri Sun, and you wantmeto grow up?” he adds, shaking his head. He lays down on the blanket and puts his arm behind his head. His arm flexes just right to show how well the shirt hugs it—making me almost drool.The story, Cara, the story.

I clear my throat and explain, “When Allie and I moved to California, most of the people our age wanted to party all the time, but your dear sis was mourning after losing Jake. She wouldn’t talk to anyone. So, at first, I did try to go to parties and do what everyone else was doing, but it just wasn’t all that fun when I was constantly worrying about her. I started reading on ways to cope with loss, because even though he was alive, she did lose him. One of the things I found was that being in nature helps.” I stop talking and eat some crackers and cheese, closing my eyes and letting it all in. The memories, the hardships, the moment we’re in now and everything in between.

“She of course didn’t want to go anywhere, and bugs scare her half the time so I would take her on little outings to spend time outside. She was okay with it and eventually she started enjoying going out with friends—dinners and small gatherings. Those are my jam too. So of course I was happy, but I realized that I missed being outside more than I thought. I was reading a book about the benefits of nature on mental health and found that for some people medicine and exercise makes them happy; for me it’s this.”

I wave my arms around, gesturing to the world around us, and lay down next to him. He tilts his head toward me and smiles. I return it and add, “With dirt under my toes and thesun above my head, I’ll be as happy as I can be for the rest of my life. It recharges me. A few years ago, I found a yearly challenge where people try to spend at least one thousand hours outside in a year and I’ve been trying to hit that goal ever since.”

“Like a sunflower,” he says. His eyes sparkle as he searches mine. Dark and haunting, calling me to him.

“Wh—what?”

“You’re like a sunflower; you need your feet on the ground and your face toward the sun.” Manny brings his hand to my eyebrows, smoothing them. I hadn’t noticed I was frowning, but he did, and judging by his expression he doesn’t like it. “No need for that frown on your pretty face. I was just echoing what you said.”

I hadn’t noticed how close we are. Now I’m acutely aware of his feet near mine, barely touching but still there. His eyes—oak brown just like the trees behind him—are focused just on me. And his scent, spicy but almost sweet, engulfs me completely. I drop my gaze to his lips but lift it back up to his eyes and when I find nothing but kindness in them, I snap out of it.He’s Allie’s brother, Cara. He’s your friend and he’s just being kind.

I clear my throat and lay on my back. Closing my eyes and letting the sun warm my face hoping to blame the blush I’m surely sporting on the sun and not to the fact that I’m attracted to Manuel Zabana way more than I knew and definitely more than I should be.

“Cara, Cara.”A distant voice says, and at the same time, soft hands touch my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Manny’s face right in front of mine. Looking around, looking as dumbfounded as I feel, I notice we’re in the same picnic spot, but now there are some people standing near the water, and the sun has gone down a little. Not enough for it to be sunset, but definitely enough to let me know that I fell asleep.

I look back at Manny and smile before saying, “Well, good morning to you, too.”

He chuckles and gives me his hand, pulling me up to sit. “I wish I could tell you it was still morning but that would be a lie. We both fell asleep, Cara. Out here, in the wilderness.”

Wilderness.I chuckle at that. “What better place to take a nap than surrounded by all this beauty?” I tease, bringing my knees up to my chest and laying my head on top of them.

“You do that often, sunshine? Fall asleep surrounded by nature?”

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