Page 24 of The Gift Rarely Given

“Come on, this way.” She drops my hand and walks toward the back where there’s another door and when she opens it, she gasps and says, “Score!”

I look up and see a selection of cakes, pies, and other desserts. She shoves half her body into the fridge, shuffling things around and mumbling something under her breath.

“Livie, is this even legal?” I ask, trying to contain my laughter at the sight in front of me.

“No, but who’s gonna know? Also, all these get thrown away after twenty-four hours. I highly doubt someone’s going to order all of these late into the night. AHA! Look!”she shouts, pulling a heart-shaped cake decorated with strawberries out of the fridge.

My jaw drops. “Is that…”

“Strawberry shortcake!” Livie shouts again. “Look! Look! It’s either that, or strawberry cheesecake, but either works.” She walks past me, setting the cake on the counter and opening some cabinets until she finds two measuring spoons. She hands me one and when I look at her suspiciously, she says, “Listen, this is the only thing I could find. But we will wash it before we’re done, okay?”

She dips the measuring spoon into the corner of the cake and after she scoops a piece out, she says, “Strawberry shortcake, indeed—it’s your lucky day.”

“You’re unbelievable,” I say, and I mean it in the most magical way. Like… where did she come from and how did I manage to cross paths with her?

“Unbelievably cute, right?”

“That for sure. Also, unbelievably amazing.”

She blushes at the compliment, taking a giant bite of the cake. She opens her mouth to say something but realizes she can’t chew and talk so she rolls her eyes at herself. I smile, taking a bite of my own and basking in this moment. Basking in the silence and her company.

Once she swallows, Livie immediately starts talking. “I don’t get it. You’re near perfect; why has nobody snatched you up? You say all the right things, do all the right things, look like that, and I’m pretty sure you’re a mama’s boy, too. You’re such a gentleman that there’s no way your mother didn’t have a say in that. I’m pretty sure she’s the one who lives in the bigger house back at your place, right?”

She’s observant and I like it. I could choose to avoid this conversation and try to get away with some bullshit excuse, but I choose bravery and tell her the truth. "My momraised me all by herself. My dad—if you can even call him that—left her when she was pregnant with me. At just eighteen years old, she had to learn how to be an adult and raise a baby on her own. She worked endless odd jobs until I was old enough to go to school, and then she tried to work around my school schedule so she could still spend time with me. When I turned seven and made the Pop Warner football team, Mom smiled so big, it could’ve lit up the whole town. That night I heard her crying on the phone to her friend about how she didn’t know how she was going to pay for everything.” I take another small bite, letting the sweet taste of the cake bring me back to this moment and not to the memory I’m sharing. Livie stops looking at the cake and keeps her eyes on me, attentive to every word I say.

“I tried selling my clothes at school to help pay for stuff. And when the principal called my mom to tell her, she cried again. I was only eight years old but I felt awful because now she had cried not once, but twice, because of me. She always said that boys should bring girls flowers and smiles and no tears, so why was I bringing tears to my mom? When we got home that night, I told her I didn’t really like football that much, and that I’d rather do homework on the floor at her job than play. She saw right through my bullshit, of course, and what she did instead was call everyone she knew in town to see if they could sponsor me. Little did she know, Pop Warner offered scholarships, and one of the people she asked about sponsorship moved some things around and I was awarded a full one. It included everything, even transportation from school to practice. I refused to go until she told me. And after I found out I was so grateful that I never messed up. Not once.” I put the spoon down and slide to the floor, sitting with my back against thecounter and my legs up. I was always told I looked like a mountain sitting like this, but I don’t really care because it’s so comfortable.

Livie grabs the cake and slides down next to me, laying her head on my shoulder. She stays silent, not knowing that her presence is so comforting, I don’t feel like I need to hide this from her.

“I studied and I did good in school and I played my heart out on the field. I wasn’t good, but I was dedicated. I had good sportsmanship and grit. It’s truly all you need to be good at anything. I was a little delusional, too, and I kept shooting for a shot at a college ball scholarship and hopefully helping my mom out some day. One thing led to another, and I ended up being drafted. What a wild ride it was. I always promised myself that the first thing I would do if I had a lot of money would be get my mom the house she always wanted and make it so she could retire. She let me build the house, but she likes working, so she still does. Her dream house was a farm, so I made it happen. And she always said she wanted me nearby, so when one day I gave her grandchildren, they wouldn’t be far. I built the in-law suite, not knowing it would become my sanctuary the past few years.”

“Okay, so I was right—you are perfect,” Livie whispers, wiping a tear off of her cheek. “I still don’t get it.”

“Well Liv, you know what happens when you lose your goals? Or, in my case, when you achieve them? I lost my north. So here I was, a professional football player with more money than I could count, and not knowing what the fuck to do. I felt so hollow and so empty. I decided partying was the way to fill my heart. Plot twist—it didn’t, it just drove me into a deeper hole. One harder to get out. So you see, sweet Livie, no matter how good-looking you are, howmuch money you have, or how good you are deep down… if you treat people like shit, they eventually leave you alone. The only reason I have friends is because my high school friends never gave up on me, even when I pushed them away.”

Livie takes my hand, puts it in her lap, and starts drawing small circles on the back. Letting me know she’s here and she’s listening.

“The only thing I didn’t play around with were drugs, because I knew they could end my career. But everything else was fair game. And God, now that I know better, I wish I could take it all back. I hurt so many people, Liv. So many.” I take a deep breath and continue because if I don’t, I might never tell her. “The day I got injured, my coach gave me an ultimatum. I didn’t even start the game because of how fucked up I’d been the game before. But the starting quarterback had a family emergency and left at halftime so I took his place. I didn’t even complete one play when someone hit me from the side at just the right angle that my femur snapped. I could see the bone almost pushing through. And, well, I already told you about the rest. I was messed up badly, and to add the injury to it, it was too much. I really didn’t want to live anymore, let alone try to get better. It took an intervention and my mom begging me to literally do anything to try and save her son. That’s what did it. I committed myself to an inpatient mental health facility. There, I met my therapist and found yoga. And here I am a few years later. I still need work, which is why I attend both yoga and therapy religiously. And, well, being in a relationship with someone just has not been in the plans. I needed to heal first before I dragged someone else down with me.”

Time moves both slow and fast at the same time. I feelmy heart beat faster than usual, but with Livie’s eyes on mine, I feel like we’re suspended in the moment. “No taking it back now.”

“What?” she asks between sniffles.

“Calling me perfect, you can’t take it back.” I smile at her, trying to keep this moment light after the whole trauma dump.

“I could never take it back, especially after you sharing that with me. You’re so perfect, Alex. And the girl who gets to keep you will be the luckiest girl in the world,” she assures me with tears in her eyes.

I open my mouth to say something, but the door snaps open behind us and a security guard from the hotel walks through it. Livie lifts her hands and says, “Oop!” while the guard shakes his head and asks us to follow him.

ONE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS

On the day before Christmas,Baker Oaks gave to me a book boyfriend standing in front of me.

15

BOOK BOYFRIEND LINES

WEIGHT, ALEXZ JOHNSON

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