Page 25 of Bred To Be Owned

It was tradition for the guests to pay one last respect to Irini as they threw dirt over the casket. They could then say something to the family before leaving for the luncheon. The Russians were first. They nodded towards my parents and then embraced the Russian. His brother stood behind him, making sure no one said anything inappropriate. I should have shown the same courtesy to my sisters, but I was too emotionally exhausted. It was hard enough to sit here, nodding every so often like I was paying attention. When the Russians finished, the Italians took their place.

The line finished, but I still sat in the plush chair, staring at the casket in the ground.

“Toula,” my mother snapped at me.

“Any day but today,” I said, quietly. I couldn’t cope with her aggressiveness, and I didn’t want to speak a truth that should have remained unsaid.

“It’s time to go. Your father’s arranged for our ride. We need to arrive as one.” She stomped her foot, and I almost wanted to stick my stiletto in it. My sister, her daughter, was gone.Does she not have any respect, or are we all expendable?

“I’d like a few minutes by myself, and then I’ll head to the luncheon with Angelo.”

She huffed, but whatever she was going to say died on her lips as my father called her over. “Don’t make a scene,” she said, before leaving.

I wouldn’t, but I wanted to break in private before I had to smile and nod again.

I was still sitting in the plush chair when a large body sat next to me. “You’re the last person I expected.”

“Yeah, I’m not a fan, but you looked like you could use a friend,” Adrik said, leaning his elbows on his knees.

“We’re not friends.” We weren’t really enemies, but he’d be the last person I confided in.

“No, but I’ve been here too many times to count. Right now, you want to murder the next person who tells you they’re sorry. They don’t understand that you’re irrevocably changed while they’re happily eating their chicken cordon bleu.”

“When does the performance ever stop?” I asked him, not really expecting an answer.

“Never. It’s disrespectful to the dead, but the living only think about themselves. They’re looking for their next opportunity, and you would give anything to have another moment with the one no longer here.” He shifted in the chair, turning his neck so that he faced me. “What do you need?”

“What do you mean?” I was skeptical.

“What do you need me to do? Clear out these people? Make Angelo sit in the car? Too bad I don’t have a pipe to run from the exhaust. It could be a two-for-one deal.”

I couldn’t help it. The laughter bubbled out of my chest. “You don’t like Angelo either, I take it.”

“No. He doesn’t do his job, and I have no time for laziness.” He turned back to face the casket. “You shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting these people to leave. They didn’t understand Irini like you did, and they don’t deserve to trample on whatever light she had left.”

“Can you clear them out, please?” I asked. There was a quiver in my voice, but he didn’t mention it as he stood from his chair and began guiding people toward their cars. It wasn’t long before the only people at the burial site were the two of us and the Russian. Someone had told Angelo to sit in his car with the windows up.

“Come on.” He grabbed the Russian’s shoulder and tried to turn him toward the gravel road that ran through the cemetery.

“No, I am going to stay for a minute,” I heard him say.

“No, you’re going to the luncheon to give the people what they want: the grieving husband.” The Russian tried to shake his brother’s hand off of his shoulder, but Adrik gripped it tighter. “Let her be. She needs a moment, and you remember what it was like at your father’s funeral.” An understanding passed between them, and the Russian let Adrik lead him towards their car.

Finally, I was alone.

“I don’t know what to say to you. It’s hard to imagine that you’re gone, and I’m never going to see your smiling face again.” It wasn’t a windy day, but the leaves on the trees blew in the breeze. “I need you to believe me when I tell you everything I did was out of love. The deal, the arranged marriage, everything.” The wind picked up strands of my hair and made them dance.

I let go of the sobs that I’d been holding in for most of the day. “Please forgive me,” I cried, covering my face with my hands. “Please,” I begged.

The funeral home had made a poster of Irini’s high school graduation picture. It was seven years old, and Irini hated how it had turned out. They had posed her for the picture, but she had thought it looked too stilted. She often laughed that her smile looked too wide and belonged to one of those possessed dolls.

The wind blew the poster off the easel, as if Irini was still here, and had knocked it over herself. The poster landed at my feet, and I took it as a sign. Irini had forgiven me.

Chapter 15

Toula

I grieved for the sister I remembered, not the shell that she had been. She was at peace, but Irini had left a tsunami-sized wave in her place, and it was about to crash.

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