Page 16 of The Game

“Feel that. Relationships suck.”

“Sure do. What’s up with you and the guy from the other night?”

I can feel my soul curling back into my body as he turns his attention on me, dark eyes intense and searching.

“Come on. You’ve got to share. At least a little. Lay it on me, otherwise this friendship thing will start out all unbalanced and we can’t have that.”

“Unbalanced?” I ask.

“Yeah, you’ve got my dark secret, and I know nothing about you. You’re just this beautiful mystery.”

A shiver runs down my spine, leaving a trail of warmth, and my words flow.

“I’m in my last year, too. I met Darryl in the fall of junior year. At first, I wasn’t sure. I said no when he asked me out. Some unconscious part of me was a little uneasy. He was a little too forward. A little too insistent. Should have trusted that feeling. But I didn’t. He kept coming back. He pulled out at all the tricks. Roses, meals out, and he’d pick me up, drive me to campus. I don’t even like roses, but it all seemed so romantic.”

I’m waiting for him to offer his opinion, but he doesn’t. Just sits there quietly listening. It’s refreshing. Hanging out with a guy who doesn’t need to inject his voice into every spare bit of air.

“So, I gave in. We started dating, and it was consuming. Have you ever been so swept up in someone that you spend all your time with them? Have zero desire to be apart?”

He nods.

“Right. And then I realized I was seeing less of my friends. I’ve got a little study group of business majors I met in first year. They’re great. We’ve all got entrepreneurial aspirations, so we study together and brainstorm, but I realized I’d missed all their get-togethers for a month. When I told Darryl I was going togo to the next one, he flipped out. That was the first sign, but then he covered it up, said he’d bought us tickets for this movie I wanted to go see, so I let it slide.”

I look up to see if he’s still even paying attention, and he is. He’s looking at me like every word I say has value to him.

“Anyway, by the time I realized things weren’t so good, I’d lost a bunch of friends, and he’d kind of become the center of my universe. Stupid me. Getting my grades at the end of the year was a huge wake up call. My eighties had slipped to seventies, and when I told him I needed to spend more time studying for exams, he lost it again. He…” I break off, shaking my head. I’ve shared way more with this stranger than even my closest friend. There’s no way I can tell him what happened. I don’t even want to think about it. No matter how many times I tell myself it wasn’t my fault, I’m still ashamed that I let it get that far. That I didn’t see the aggression lurking behind his eyes. The potential for violence and destruction.

I can’t even meet the searching look in his eyes. “But it was the end of the school year, so after exams, I cut and run. I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. He lives far enough away that I could avoid him all summer, even though he texted and emailed me until I blocked him. Maybe I should have called him, been firmer. Not hid away with my family, hoping the problem would go away.” There was a shadow over my summer knowing he’d be waiting for me when I got back to school, but I was hoping he’d found someone else. Clearly, that was a desperate delusion. We’re more likely to see a UFO land in the middle of campus.

Cole weighs his words for a moment. “You did what you had to do for yourself. Sounds like. What do you think now, though? Do you think he’s going to keep arranging these little meet ups and trying to get you back?”

A soft sigh slips out. Unfortunately, I do think that. I remember how very persistent he was when he first wanted to get together with me. There’s no reason to think he won’t do that again if he’s decided he’s not finished with me yet. “Yes.”

He nods. “Ok. Well, call me if you need someone to run interference. That’s one of my special skills as a hockey player, you know. A little body check to get him to lay off can’t hurt. Metaphorically speaking, of course.”

“Of course. Thanks. I’m glad I came with you.” Spilling some of my secrets provided a little relief from the burden I’ve been lugging around. I don’t want my family or friends to know how bad it got. That I let it happen. Maybe it’s him, and the fact that he was also betrayed by someone he cared for, or maybe there’s less shame and fear of judgement talking to a stranger. But my story flowed easier than I expected. Even if I held back some of the worst things. The picture of my trashed room flashes in my mind, and a lump forms in my throat, making it hard to swallow.

The smile on his face softens all his hard lines, and it eases the tightness in my chest with the warmth of its glow.

“Me too. I guess we’ll just have to be sharing buddies.”

“Sounds good. Like we’re bus or line buddies in grade school?”

“Sure. Something like that.” I can’t help but notice how large his hands are when he splays them on the smooth beige surface of the cafeteria table to push himself up. I bet he’s really good with those hands. Nope. Bad. Tuck that thought away.

“Can I give you a ride home?”

“Sure, that would be nice, thanks.” The weight of my confessions, piled on top of a long day of lectures, is dragging me down, so even the thought of taking the bus has my shoulders drooping. I’d probably fall asleep and end up at the wrong stop.

He holds out a hand to help me up from the table. But as tired as I am, I ignore the offer. He’s stepped in to rescue me twice now, and I’m not interested in making a habit of playing the damsel in distress.

Chapter 8

Not Here For The Fresh Air

Cole

Our first game iscreeping up on us, and a restless itch pulls me out of bed earlier than usual. Tired of tossing and turning, I yank on a loose pair of jogging shorts and a compression shirt, grabbing my ear buds off the scratched dresser as I head out.

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