Page 49 of The Comeback

"I need to explain things to you. Everything. Will you come sit with me? I follow his gaze over to the bed. Red alert. Danger. "I won't try anything. Just wanna talk. Please. I need you to know everything."

Everything. That's a lot. It's not like I don't think I can trust him not to do anything I don't want him to. He would never. The problem is me. The problem is that I don't think I'm strong enough to resist him.

"Please." I finally break under the pressure of those eyes. Maybe there will be some sort of closure to be had in his explanation.

I nod and spin around on the chair springing off it to walk over to the big bed. I perch so far to the right side that there's a very real slip and fall risk especially after his muscled length plops down on the other end. I could quite well end up in some comical catapult type situation here.

The silence stretches between us until I can hear the wall clock ticking away almost as loud as my the heartbeat roaring in my ears. I look up to find the offending thing and it's the very analog clock that used to hang in his bedroom at home. There's a hockey player in a red jersey in the center of the white surface and the hands are each hockey sticks. I smile remembering all the memories we shared under that very clock. Playing WII in his room, working on homework together just like today, talking about which dwarf is the best one. "You still have that thing?" I laugh.

He looks up to see me eying the clock. "Yeah. It was, you know. I wanted a piece of my dad here with me."

Oh my god. I can't believe I forgot. His dad gave him that clock for his fifth birthday. Shortly before he died. It was the last gift he got from him. "Oh, Bastian. I'm so sorry." His hand flexes under mine when I reach out to provide any comfort I can.

"It's fine. You're one of the few people who knows that. Look. This is hard for me to talk about."

He's clenching his jaw so tight I'm worried he'll break a tooth, but I don't say anything just squeeze his hand under mine, waiting for him to finish.

"I didn't push you away in high school for the reasons you think."

How does he know what I think?

"It was never about you." A bitter snort escapes at that one. "I know that sounds so cliche, but it's true. I pushed you away to keep you safe. You know the older we got the less time we spent at my house."

"Yeah," I say, confused as to where he's going with this.

"There was a reason for that. The same reason I didn't want you coming to dinner the other night. The same reason I got this." He points a long finger at the fading bruise under his eye. The one I assumed he got from hockey.

What's he talking about? I'm used to seeing him with bruises, cuts, and all manner of injuries. Hockey is a rough sport. Well I used to see him with those injuries a lot. When we were friends. "Isn't that from hockey?"

His hand spans his entire face when he buries it. His shoulders rise and fall in a deep breath before he looks up. "This was courtesy of Larry."

I gasp. "Your step dad did that to you." My ears are ringing and there's a churning in my gut. "He hits you?"

"No, not really. This isn't his usual style." I open my mouth to protest. "Hey, I'm not about to defend him, but he's only gotten handsy with me one other time." A long finger traces the jagged scar that does nothing to mar the beauty of his face. If anything it adds strength to his fine features. "Don't get me wrong. He's a controlling asshole, but this was more of an accident. He didn't like my attitude, so we got up in each others faces. I think his scared of me now." A dark grin twists his mouth with delight. "I got in his face to tell him off and he shoved me away. It was stupid. I tripped on a plant pot behind me and smacked my head when I went down."

"That's still not ok, Sebastian. He shouldn't be laying hands on you at all. Ever. What about your mom, Bria?" His sister is slim and delicate especially compared to his bulk.

He shakes his head, running his free hand through his hair. I want to reach out and still the slight tremble i can see is shaking his usual confidence, but I don't really know if that's my place. "Bria swears up and down that he's never laid a hand on her.

I believe her but if I ever found out he'd damaged a hair on my baby sisters head. I'd be working out in a prison gym rather than a college one."

"Oh, Sebastian. I'm so sorry for everything. You didn't deserve any of that. I still don't understand what any of this has to do with us." I could have helped him. I could have been there for him.

"He might not hit me, but he's not good. He's controlling. He wants everything his way and he wants everyone around him to fall in line. He says things..." His voice is coming out in a croak now. "He's diminished my mother to a shadow of who she used to be. He pushed me so hard that I almost turned my back on hockey, but there's no way I'd let him take my dream from me."

I nod, sensing he might not be able to finish if I express my sympathy.

"I couldn't bring anyone into that house. There are already two people in that house I can't protect. Until next year. I'm going to get a contract and pay for Bria to go to school. She won't have to rely on him for money, and she'll be free. My mom. I can't do anything for her. I've tried. You have to believe me. I've tried to tell her to get help. To get away from him, but she won't."

His throat is working hard like he's trying to keep in tears, and the eyes he turns to me are glossy with tears he won't let fall. "Things had already gotten bad that last year we had together, and then he decided to send me off to that snooty private high school. It was hell. You'd think I could have fit in. I was a jock, but I was also a nerd, so I never fit in anywhere. And their hockey team was a bunch of rich fucks who would rather talk about playing hockey then actually play the game. I hated every minute of my time there. The only thing about their team being so shitty was that I was able to convince Larry to let me go back the public school. They trounced us enough times in hockey that he saw the validity of my argument. After all, he wants a winner in the family. He wants me to get an NHL contract and then he can show me off to his rich colleagues. Jokes on him. Once I get that contract I'm never looking back. I'll take care of Bria and do whatever I can for my mom, but I'm out of his life."

"Is that why you went for dinner the other night? Did he force you into it?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately until I get away from him I'm still somewhat financially dependent on the fucker. I got a partial hockey scholarship but I've been stuck. If I got a part time job my grades and hockey would suffer.

"I get it. I get why you're so angry. I wish there was something, anything i could do for you but i still don't understand why you turned on me like that. Wouldn't it have been nice to have someone on your side."

"It would have been, but I couldn't risk it. I'd built up such a hard shell to hide away all the parts of me that might tempt bullies and you were part of that. But even more I couldn't risk you. I couldn't risk you ending up on his radar. If he had ever said anything negative to you in person, I couldn't have taken it."

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