Page 79 of Gin & Sin

“Nothing’s wrong, guys.” Before I know it, everyone has gathered around the bar, all eyes on me, and I sigh in resignation. “Fine. Okay, maybe I miss Stewart.”

“Dude, it’s been two days,” Bane says. “You got it that bad?”

“It was nice. That’s all.”

Salem leans across the bar with a total shit-eating grin on his lips. “You can admit it, Kit. We’re all friends here.”

“Admit what?”

“That it’s not casual anymore?” Jerryn says softly.

“No, it is. Stewart needs to find his way with all of this. It would be selfish of me to try and lock him down.”

“But you want to, right?” Bane asks. “It’s not like we didn’t witness it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, my sweet summer child,” Lowen says in a pitying tone. “You have no idea, do you?”

“About what?” I turn to Indy, who’s leaning on a column with his arms folded. “Indy, what are they talking about?”

He smiles, glancing at Salem briefly before returning his gaze to me. “As a recent inductee myself, I’d say the guys are pointing out the obvious. You’re in love with Stewart.”

I pull my head back, ready to object to the idea, but no words come. No fight. No denial. My shoulders drop.

“Well, fuck. Is that what this is?”

“Sure sounds like it,” Ridley says, squeezing my shoulder. “For what it’s worth, you did good with him.”

Jerryn nods. “He’s sweet and smart and obviously smitten with you too.”

My heart rate picks up. “Do you think so?”

“Dude,” Bane says. “If he was a cartoon he’d have hearts for eyes.”

“But that’s not what we talked about. He’s been in one long-term relationship his entire adult life and thought he was straight. What if he wants to explore, you know? Or hell, just be single for a while?”

“What if he doesn’t?” Salem asks. “From where I was standing, he seemed just as content to be locked in your suite as you were.”

“Are you projecting what you think he wants instead of asking him?” Indy asks.

I scoff. “Using logic and maturity on me. Rude.”

The guys laugh, but Lowen adopts a more serious look.

“As much as I’m Team Stay Single, even I have to admit that watching you and Stewart together melted my heart. Just a corner of it though.”

“Wow, a whole corner, huh?” We’re all silent for a second. “How do I know for sure that it’s more than a passing crush? I wouldn’t know love if it punched me in the face.”

“Obviously.” Salem winks.

“It’s the feeling of wholeness when they’re with you,” Indy says. “It’s waking up and going to sleep with them on your mind and thinking about them every minute you’re apart. When you see them, your heart literally reacts. Sometimes your stomach flutters.”

“You basically feel like you’re having a heart attack,” Lowen deadpans. “It’s lovely.”

Salem laughs. “It really is weird. For me at least, it wasn’t like anything else I’d ever felt. It was way beyond a crush or a physical connection. I started thinking about…” He turns his gaze to Indy. “About the future and stuff. Indy was always in it.”

“Simple experiment,” Lowen says. “Try to imagine a few scenarios without Stewart in them.”

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