Page 72 of Gin & Sin

“I’m sorry. That had to hurt to hear.”

“It did. I often wondered when I turned into someone she hated. I never cheated, never said an unkind word, never denied her anything she wanted, but somehow I was still a piece of shit she couldn’t wait to get away from.”

“People can be cruel when they’re in pain.”

He nods, exhaling slowly. “It doesn’t make the cut less deep.”

“No, it doesn’t.” I kiss the bottom of his foot. “You mentioned before that she got a job somewhere else?”

“Yeah.” A fresh smile graces his face. “Thank fuck. It was the break we needed to finally pull the plug. Stop with the therapy and the arguments and the tension and just accept that we were done.”

“Does she know?”

“About my sexuality?”

I nod, working my fingers up his leg again.

“No. I don’t think she ever will. Telling her would probably hurt her. Besides, it’s not like we’re friends. Part of me hopes we can be again someday, but I doubt it. She’s a good person, and for most of my life, she was my best friend. I miss that part.”

“Maybe she does too, and with time, you can reconnect.”

“Maybe.” An interesting expression passes across his face. “Someday I might be in a relationship with a man. I might have to come out, and that’s exciting and nerve racking.”

“In your own time.”

“I know.”

“Are your parents alive?”

Stewart nods. “Yes, but elderly. They live in Florida with my sister nearby. Yours are too, right?”

“Yep. Dad has heart problems though. Mom is tough. She’s the strongest person I know.”

“Do you have siblings?”

“No. Only child. Probably explains a lot.”

Stewart chuckles. “You’re doing fine.”

“I managed to get you in my bedroom, so I must be.”

He blushes as he shakes his head. “You’re so good for my ego.”

“It’s not just sunshine, Stewart. You’re not only gorgeous, you’re an amazing person. You’re interesting. Smart. Sexy. Any guy or woman would be lucky to lock you down.”

His brow creases as he scratches his thick stubble. He huffs but forces a smile. “Thanks.”

“What did I say that triggered all that?”

Stewart shifts his gaze to me, twisting his lips before nodding in resignation. “I had the thought earlier after what we did…” He pauses, laughing nervously and squirming in the water.

“You can tell me anything, babe.”

“I know. It’s more about saying it aloud to myself. I want to. It’s just taking a second.”

“Take your time.”

Stewart drags his hands through the steamy water, then blows out a slow breath. “It dawned on me that I might be a victim of CompHet.”

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