Page 71 of Gin & Sin

“Are you hungry?”

“Not at all.”

“Then I have an idea.”

“Listening.”

“How about a leisurely bath for two? Then, if you’re up for it, we can get dirty again.”

His breath hitches and he nods, his eyes filling with need and lust. “Yes. Please.”

I kiss his nose. “Stay here. I’ll go run the bath.”

“Okay.”

Forcing myself out of bed is harder than I thought, but the idea of washing his body is good motivation. In the bathroom, I start the bath, testing the water temp before taking a quick piss. I spot the tray of French bath products Lowen insisted on stocking in everyone’s bathrooms and say a silent thanks to our resident diva. After a quick sniff of the bubble bath, I pour in a decent amount, then walk back to the bedroom where Stewart is sprawled out on my bed. The bedding is tangled around his legs, but pulled down enough to show his soft cock and equally soft belly. Fuck, he’s gorgeous.

“Ready, babe?”

He lifts his head and smiles, his hair mussed and eyes relaxed. “I am.” Stewart climbs out of bed and joins me, grabbing my hand when he reaches me. “It’s gonna be hard to go back to real life when this is over.”

I nod, agreeing more than he even knows. “Let’s enjoy it while it lasts, huh?”

“Absolutely.”

We sink into the bath together, facing each other. Another genius design decision by Low.

“This is like a luxurious hotel bathroom. Not that I’ve ever been in one.”

I chuckle. “Lowen’s doing. Gotta admit, it’s working out nicely right now.”

“Definitely.”

Stewart drags his hand through the suds. “Did you ever think about kids?”

His question startles me for a second, and I choke on a laugh. “No. I’m not even kind of dad material. You?”

“We didn’t want them, and then she did. We tried for a few years before seeking medical advice when it wasn’t happening.” His gaze moves to the ceiling as he sinks a little deeper into the water, sliding his legs to either side of me. “We went through allthe tests and found out she wasn’t ovulating. It was a hormone imbalance. She went on medicine for about six months, but it made her miserable to the point that sex wasn’t an option. We talked it over and decided to accept that it just wasn’t going to happen. It’s terrible to admit, but I was relieved.”

I nod. “You didn’t really want it. You just wanted to make her happy.”

“Yes. I wanted her to have something to focus on. Our marriage was still pretty good back then, but I think it was the first tear in the fabric, you know?”

“She didn’t really accept it?”

“No. She internalized it. Like she was flawed. Against my better judgment, I told her we could foster or adopt or even look into surrogacy, but she didn’t want that. She wanted something she could never have. Four years later, she started having a lot of pain and was diagnosed with endometriosis. It was so advanced that she opted for a hysterectomy. She was never the same after that.”

“I can’t imagine what that feels like. To want something that it seems other people get easily.”

“Right. She went to therapy and that did seem to help. She threw herself into her nieces and nephews and she volunteered with Big Sisters.”

I rub his calf. “You sound sad.”

“She was at her lowest and I was relieved. I didn’t think we’d make great parents. We were both so career focused. It’s only looking back that I realize she wanted the baby because there was no substance in our marriage anymore. She wanted something to nurture and to feel needed because I wasn’t that for her. I was a man who lived in her house and sometimes ate dinner with her or watched a movie, but the passion, the shared interests, the friendship had broken down.”

I lift his leg from the water and massage his foot. “Then it was a good thing you didn’t bring a child into that.”

“I know. She knows it too. During an argument one night she told me she was glad we never had a child because…” He pauses as a sad smile spreads across his mouth. “Because she wouldn’t be tied to me the rest of her life.”

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