Page 6 of Gin & Sin

“I knew in high school that guys lit me up in a way girls didn’t. My ex-wife pursued me. I represented stability for her. I was steady and loyal.” He shakes his head as his knuckles whiten on the steering wheel. “I was so happy to have a pretty girl interested in me. I was kinda nerdy then. Still am.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“Maybe not, but it didn’t make me a girl magnet in high school.”

“Kids are dumb.”

“I suppose.” He glances at me again. “Anyway, I threw myself into making her happy. I wanted to give her everything she wanted simply because she chose me.”

“That’s how marriage should be anyway.”

“True.”

“We did okay for a long time since we were both focused on our careers. She’s a nurse.” Stewart chews on his bottom lip for a second. “But it didn’t take long for me to realize there was a major disconnect in the bedroom. When we were both inexperienced it was fine, but in time, she was looking for more from me and there were just some things that my heart wasn’t into.”

“So you’re not attracted to women at all?”

He shrugs. “It’s complicated. I find women attractive, sometimes even sexually, but I find men more attractive in all ways.”

“How do you identify?”

“I’m leaning towards bi with a preference for masculine people.”

I nod. “I’m bi.”

His face lights up. “Really? That’s so good. I mean… That came out wrong.”

“What did you mean?”

“My experience so far—which has been limited, to be fair—is that gay men seem to be resistant to dating bi men. Is that true?”

“It can be. I’m sure you’re aware of bisexual erasure?”

He nods as he comes to a stop at a light. “Yeah. Why do you think that is?”

I shrug, scratching my beard. “Humans have a lot of hang-ups about things. Sometimes I think it’s because it forces us to look at ourselves and that can be uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s because the person is a closed-minded jerk. Sometimes, it’s because of negative things they experienced or were told. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it, I just do what I want.”

Stewart chuckles, driving on when the light changes. “Easy for you to say. I doubt you have anyone say no to you with a face like that.”

“Back at ya.”

“Oh please.”

I poke his arm. “I’m here, right?”

“Well, yes, but there could be a lot of reasons for that.”

“Like the one where I’m attracted to you? Or the one where I think you’re gorgeous? Or how about the one where I can’t wait to get your clothes off?”

Stewart clears his throat as he shifts in his seat, quickly glancing at me. “I’m not questioning my luck.”

“I’m the lucky one. I’ve been bored, Stewart. You came in at the right time.”

“Do you date a lot?”

“I wouldn’t say that. I’m slowing down a little. The college crowd is wearing thin on me.”

His brow creases. “You date college-age guys?”

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