Page 47 of Something Blue

No.

We can’t talk.

I’m angry with him, but I’m even more angry with myself. Why did I let Celso get to me like that? I have to stay in control of myself if I’m going to find a way out of this. I don’t want to be married. I want to be free. I want to live my life. After the whole thing with Damion happened, that was the main, glaring truth that I came to learn. I don’t want to be tied into some contractual obligation.

And I really don’t want to be attracted to Celso.

I flop down onto my bed, face first with my head buried in my pillows.

“What is going on?” I groan, rolling onto my back.

Later the same night, lying on my bed again and scrolling through my phone, I am horrified to find an article about my apparent engagement online. It’s suggestive and alluring and hints at some mysterious love that has been growing amongst the chaos of everything else. It doesn’t flat out announce our engagement - but it’s a very suggestive article. A teaser - basically. There are two separate images. One of me and one of Celso. Ugh. So prim and proper. It’s a photo go me from one of my father’s campaign events. I hate it. It’s not who I am.

It’s clear from this that Celso is building up to the big reveal. From the looks of things he’s loving this. And dammit he looks so freaking good in that photo.

Not a moment after I finish reading the article, rolling my eyes every five minutes, my phone rings.

“Dalila.” I say nervously.

“What the fuck is going on?” She shouts into the phone. “You promised me that?—”

“Hey, stop - this wasn’t me. My brother and Celso came to an agreement in order to get funding for his stupid campaign.” I blurt out defensively.

“Celso and your brother - Luke agreed to this?”

“Lukeplanned this whole thing.”I say tensely.

“I’ll kill him. I’ll kill them both. I’ll speak to my father. I’ll have him put an end to this. I won’t let this happen.”

“Dalila - stop - breathe. You sound like you’re having a panic attack.”

“Iam having a panic attack.” She hisses.

“Breathe.” I tell her again and hear her take in a sharp, scant breath.

“We can find a way out of this, ok. It only happened today. We have time to fix it.”

“I don’t know if we do. My brother is already making plans.” She whimpers.

“Can you speak to your father?” I ask, hopeful.

“Yes. I’ll go see him first thing in the morning. I’ll fix it.”

I nod, biting at the inside of my cheek. “Ok. Everything’s going to be fine.” I say, more to myself than her.

“Yeah.” She agrees.

After a tense moment of silence, we say goodbye because I don’t know what to say to her and she’s too upset to speak.

She’s my best friend. Yes, I’ve thought about being with Celso way more often that I should have been thinking about it, but I wouldn’t have actually done it. I wouldn’t have risked losing her over this.

I sigh, shoving the pillow over my face.

He’s on this wild mission to marry me and I think it’s freaking hormones. Maybe if I had slept with him, he would have seen that I’m a normal girl - nothing special - and he would’ve gotten over his obsession. Guys only want what they can’t have. That’s what this comes down to. He wants me because I’m forbidden, out of reach, something he was never allowed.

After the wedding he will get bored with me and start ignoring me and my life will suck.

Whatever fantasy I have of him being in love with me, like really in love - that’s all it is. A fantasy. I’m not naïve.

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