Page 12 of Something Blue

For half an hour I run my fingers through her hair, untangling and brushing out the knots. Her hair is now spread out behind her like a silky wave.

Dalila stirs and sighs loudly.

Shit.

She rolls over to face me and for a moment I think her eyes are open. But they aren’t.

I should go.

I’ve been here too long as it is.

Leaning over Neve with my hand resting on the bed above her head, I softly press my mouth over her lips and taste her sweetness.

She moves her head away, frowning in her sleep.

“Good night, my angel.” I whisper, stepping back, reluctant to go - but everything is set in motion now and it won’t be long before it all falls into place.

She is mine.

She will soon realize it wasn’t a choice I was giving her. I was predicting the future when I told her she belongs to me.

On the drive home I have nothing but excitement for what is waiting for me. In a way, I’m glad we weren’t alone tonight. Perhaps our first time should be more planned out. Something special, intimate. Not that I think there is anything more beautiful than fucking her in a wedding dress.

I would prefer it to be the wedding dress she wears for me.

The more I think about her the more my body fills with desire. It’s always like this when I see her. When I’m near her, I lose control of my thoughts.

But I am reassured that this is one of the last times I will have to handle the situation myself, alone, without her touch and without her silky smooth skin.

After a hot shower I climb into bed satisfied, for the moment. I am a patient man, but it was wearing thin regarding Neve. I don’t want to wait anymore.

From here on out I’m going to be more aggressive in my pursuit of her. It’s time.

I fall asleep thinking about our future. And picturing how beautiful she looked with my hand on her skin.

Bright, warm sunshine splashes onto my pillow and pulls me from the dream I was lost in.

My dreams are never pleasant. Always dark and filled with shadowed mysteries that want to tear me apart. I sneer, pressing my hands against my eyes to push the last remnants of those haunting images from my mind. In the real world I do whatever the fuck I want. I take what I want, and I am whoever I want to be. No one can touch me. No one can control me.

But in my dreams I’m always running. Always drowning. Always terrified.

Sighing loudly, I toss the heavy blankets away from my body and swing my legs over the edge of the bed.

Soft, thick carpet beneath my toes reminds me I’m in the real world. Everything is ok.

Ever since I was young sleeping has been an issue for me. The day I found out my mother left, discarding me as though I was some unwanted burden.

My father has always treated me differently. Not bad. Not bad at all. He has favored me, protected me, solved every single one of my problems. He’s supported my choices and never punished me - not like he did to my older brothers.

I know it’s not only because I am the youngest. I think it has more to do with my mother than me.

He had an affair, cheating on his wife, Francesca - the mother of all of my siblings - withmymother, Amelia.

I think the memory of Amelia is what draws him to me. It’s the reason he treats me with unfairpreference. I never met her because she disappeared only a few months after I was born and left my father to raise me on his own. Of course, when I say on his own I mean with the help of a team of housekeepers and nursemaids.

But I never met my mother. Her being so willing to walk away from me without ever glancing back - that changed my view of women.

But Neve is different.

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