Page 46 of Muse

“This is your personal space, and I won’t come up here again,” he said. “You can rest and stay as long as you’d like.”

I nodded again, and he left and closed the door behind him. I listened to the sound of his footsteps going down the stairs. I lay back on the bed, pulling the quilt around me, and I began to cry.

Chapter 29

II didn't know how long I slept, but the sun was high in the sky when I awoke. My stomach rumbled because I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday on the road with Wrenley.

But I was still slow to get out of bed. My body ached all over, and there was a dull feeling inside me.

I couldn't put off today forever, especially since it was already here, so I got up. I pulled the curtains back and peered outside at Soren's backyard. It was a nice view, even if the chilly weather meant that many vibrant summer plants were withered or dead. There were still punches of red and orange in various chrysantha, and the pond was serene under the willow.

Firstly, I cleaned up and dressed, making myself as presentable as I could manage. There was no reason for Soren to see me all haggard again. Once I'd finished, I made the trek through the gardens into the house.

Through the circular stained-glass window in the backdoor, I could see Soren’s silhouette in the kitchen. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

He opened it a moment later, a bemused smirk on his lips. It must be earlier than I thought because his hair was soft and wavy instead of styled, and he was wearing only his kaftan robe and satiny pajama pants.

“You don’t need to knock, Izzy, not while you’re staying here," he said as he motioned for me to enter.

“It felt rude to just waltz in,” I demurred as I slid past him and went into the kitchen.

“The teapot on the stovetop just came to a boil, and there’s fruit in a bowl and fresh bread in the breadbox and butter on the counter,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said as I went over to grab a plum and pour myself a cup of tea. “And I don’t mean just for this. I mean,everything.”

It was easier to express my gratitude when I wasn’t looking at him, and I could pretend to be focused on cutting my plum into slices.

“It really is the least I can do, considering I brought this all on you,” he replied, sounding weary and guilty.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

He was leaning against the counter and rubbed at the back of his neck. "I was selfish and greedy, so I rushed over to your house to poach you before Adora convinced you to work with Herve."

“I would never work with Herve,” I insisted, and I wanted to believe that I wouldn’t have given into Adora’s demands if Soren hadn’t been there. But it wasn’t as if I hadn’t caved to her pressure many, many times before.

"I know," he said softly, almost like he believed it. "And that is part of the reason I intervened with you and Adora because I knew you didn't want to be anywhere within his grasp. But if I'm being honest… if it had been someone other than Herve, someone you were dying to work with, I would've behaved allthe same." His eyes were full of something dark that I couldn't define. "Because I wanted to work with you.”

"Then I am truly sorry to disappoint you because I am not sure I want to perform with silks again," I said.

“I won’t ever force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” he said. “But can I ask why you don’t want to do aerials again? The rumors are that you were splendid.”

“Well, the main reason is that I’m afraid of heights,” I answered.

His eyebrows instantly went up. “And you climbed up the silks anyway?”

"I did, and it was difficult. I'm proud of myself for pushing through as much as I did, but I'm not sure I want to hop right back into it," I elaborated.

He leaned back slightly as if appraising me in a new light. "I don't blame you. How about this then: will you agree to perform with me at Samonend on the condition that it is a total collaboration?"

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“That we won’t do anything that the other isn’t comfortable with. All decisions will require two yeses and one no. If I suggest something, and you say no, we don’t do it. Simple as that.”

“If I decline your collaboration, will I have to find somewhere else to stay instead of the guest flat?” I asked.

He was immediately appalled. “No, of course not! You can stay here as long as you wish.”

I studied him, trying to understand. “What are you getting out of this? If I don’t perform with you?”