Page 39 of One Step Sideways

“Okay,” Rawlings said, pushing his phone in his pocket. “We set up a liquor store out on the corner of Roswell and Merritt. It’s a busy place but shuts at nine. Tonight, the owner’s going to be a little later closing as he’s doing inventory. You need to be there exactly at nine. The cops will be summoned via a hidden panic button.”

Rawlings hesitated. “I’m going to try to arrange the cops.” Which meant they wouldn't panic seeing an enhanced. I looked at my phone. Sixforty-five.

“How long will it take me to get there, and do I need a car?” I’d driven one of my dad’s when he was too drunk to manage, but it had been a long time, and I definitely didn’t have any sort of license.

“I’ll make sure they find the keys on you to a beat-up truck parked outside. Give me a few minutes.” And Rawlings disappeared again to use his phone.

Fuck, what was I doing? I’d sworn I would never put myself in this position and I was doing this voluntarily. I felt the hand on my arm and glanced at Danny. “You don’t have to,” he stressed. “No one would think badly of you. You—” His voice cracked. “It’s like asking me to walk myself back into that pit.”

“No, it isn’t,” I croaked back and wrapped my arms around him, forgetting he didn’t like to be caged. “Nothing I went through compares to what—” But Danny’s finger found my lips and silenced me.

“We can’t compare pain. I didn’t know what that meant until you said that. I mean, I knew what my therapist meant in a factual manner, but never applied that to myself.” Some devil in me opened my mouth and caught his finger between my lips. Danny’s breath hitched and his pupils distended, and I wished for clean sheets and all the time in the world.

Except we’d just run out of that.

I bent down and brushed a kiss against Danny’s lips. He clutched my shirt, and it shocked me into stillness. Gazing into the blue of his eyes, I saw things I’d always dreamed of, but never thought I’d ever have a chance at. Need, yes, but it was much more than that. His pupils were distended enough, his breathing almost ragged, and his pulse beat a furious tattoo on his throat. But there was something else. More than just a physical response, more than just biology. I didn’t know what it seemed like to Danny, but to me, it looked an awful lot like hope.

Danny

I don’t think I’d ever hated myself so much as I did right that moment, watching Kane and Diesel walk out of that door without me. Sure, I’d been on some ops, but always from a safe distance. Hugging my laptop like it was armor. Gray had gone through exactly the same hell. In a lot of ways, he’d had it worse,but he was a full team member. And he’d protect his husband Sebastian with his life and already had.

I could never do that because I was too much of a coward to put myself in that position in the first place.

My phone rang, and I answered it without looking, too wrapped up in my one-man pity-party. And I hadn’t realized it was a video chat until I was staring at Mom and Dad. I didn’t have to accept it; I’d made improvements on the original program and taught them both how to use it, but I had at least thirty minutes before I needed to log in to the store cameras, and if I didn’t accept it, I’d get a disapproving call from Emily, who had always made herself responsible for corralling her brothers.

“Hi, you two,” I said, accepting the chat and sitting down at the kitchen table. I watched as my mom’s face beamed in pleasure and Dad remained stoic but pleased. Not that I knew what he had to be pleased about simply because I had answered the damn phone.

“Daniel, we’re so glad we managed to catch you.” Mom cooed. I tried not to squirm. I definitely avoided their calls, but something in my dad’s look of acceptance told me I wasn’t doing a great job of it.

“How are you both?” I responded automatically and glanced over at my dad. “How’d the appointment with Doc Grady go?” Dad had always seemed invincible to us as kids, but while I had been in hell, Dad had gone through his own with a diagnosis of prostate cancer.

“Excellent,” Mom answered for him. “They don’t want to see him now for a full year.”

I smiled, genuinely happy, and suddenly I was glad we were talking. “That’s great news.”

Mom hesitated and I knew what she was going to ask, as always. “It’s yours and your dad’s birthday soon, as you know, and we were thinking of getting everyone together.”

Because I’d been born on Dad’s birthday, it was always a huge party when I was growing up. Lately? Not so much, and guilt settled heavily on me. I hadn’t made it home for the last three birthdays, citing work, and I knew from thelook in my mom’s eyes that she was expecting the same, and suddenly I wanted something different.

“Actually, I think that sounds great.” I paused. “Would it be okay if I brought someone?” Surely whatever happened, Diesel wouldn’t let Kane stay in there for more than a week.I wouldn’t.My mom’s gasp was telling, and she lit up like the Fourth of July.

“Oh darling, an important someone?”

“Not that he can’t always bring a friend,” Dad chided my mom gently.

I grinned, suddenly giddy as warmth spread through me. “Yes, I hope so.” Then I laughed as a hundred questions spilled from her lips and for once my dad didn’t attempt to rein her in.

“His name is Kane, mom. He’s just started working for Diesel.” I hesitated, wanting to get this one out of the way. “He’s enhanced.”

“That’s great darling,” Mom said, not missing a beat. “Like Sebastian and all his friends?”

Mom adored Sebastian, and it was mutual, I was sure. “Yep, but he’s new, and so are we,” I stressed, which she ignored and carried on with the questions.

“Does he have a family?”

I could tell she was ready to invite them as well. “No. He has a dad but once he got the scar, well, you know how it goes.” They did. Most people did, just as most people were frightened or turned a blind eye to their treatment.

“Then don’t you worry,” she said fiercely. “He’ll always be welcome with us.” I grinned back. I’d only met Connie—Vance’s mom from the Tampa team—once, but I knew instantly that she and my mom would be great friends, and god help anyone that got between those two mama-bears and their cubs. It hadn’t been my parents’ fault I was bullied at school. I never gave them a chance to repair the damage because I didn’t tell them. That was on me, not them.

---