Page 30 of One Step Sideways

“Danny,” Tony said, whipping his hand back. “I told you I would have gotten fired. I did my best to keep it anonymous, but the editors insisted.”

I wanted to rage. I’d had this conversation with him ad nauseum. “You need to go. I’m not interested, never will be.”

“But baby,” he whined and stepped forward. I did my best not to step back, but it was really hard. At the moment, the only thing blocking him from coming inside the apartment was me, and Tony was huge. Funnily enough, it had been his size that had once upon a time made me feel so protected, and now I avoided big guys like the plague. Which was hard around the team, but I knew them. And I had an image of a large body pressed against me not too long ago, and knew in that moment, if I ever got that chance to be that close to Kane again I wouldn’t panic. Which made me smile a little, until I realized as Tony leaned closer he’d taken that to mean I was changing my mind.

“I told you I’m not interested,” I gritted out and Sadie whined, feeling my rising distress.

“But,” he clasped my arm.

“Let me the fuck go,” I snapped, yanking at my arm, feeling the walls starting to close in on me.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Tony nearly dropped me like a brick, and I was so shocked at Kane calling me sweetheart as he appeared that the panic fizzled out. He pushed past Tony, threw his arm around me and clicked idly at Sadie, telling her she was a good dog.

“Do I know you?” Kane said, leveling his eyes on Tony with nearly as much gravel in his voice as there was sand in the Sahara.

Tony blinked. Looked between us, taking in Kane’s protective body language, and his smile fell. “I’m a friend of Danny’s. A good friend,” he rushed out, the words almost tripping over themselves.

“Nah,” Kane said and angled his body so I was almost tucked against him. “Friends don’t touch what doesn’t belong to them.”

Tony shook his head like I was insane, turned, and marched away.

Kane’s arm fell from my shoulders immediately, and he turned and walked inside. He took two steps, then realized I wasn’t following and turned. I could see the worry on his face and knew instantly he thought he’d screwed up.

“Thanks,” I said, squirming internally. “Tony is a little persistent.”

He nodded once, then gestured to the door. “How’s Shae?”

I appreciated that he didn’t ask who Tony was. “Vitals are good. Wound looks good. I think the best thing for him is sleep.”

“Diesel will be along in a few. He’s gone for food.” I wrinkled my nose and Kane laughed.

Actually laughed.

His eyes lit up and his lips widened, and I fell headlong into something I hadn’t even realized I could anymore.

Anymore?How about ever? I’d fallen for Diesel first. Hero or Daddy issues, you name it, I was gone on it. The problem was Diesel was straight. I turned my attention to Gray next—or my libido did—and we had a short thing, but pretty much decided we were better as friends. Then I gave up. When I crawled out of my hole after I thought my life was over, I tried to live. Give it one more shot. And fell stupidly for Tony.

“He was—is—a reporter.”

Kane tipped his head sideways as if trying to figure me out. “Like a newspaper?”

I shook my head, but then shrugged. “Independent now.”

Kane frowned. “But I heard him say he would be fired.”

“He went on his own when he got his big story.” Betrayal, sadness, and shame all clutched me all at the same time. “I was stupid.”

“No,” Kane said. “You trusted. Totally different.” I glanced up. He almost sounded envious.

I walked past him to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle, more for something to do. I was wound up enough without coffee and I’d been experimenting with some teas. Shame over Tony licked at me like a cold flame and made me shiver, but because I knew Kane wouldn’t ask, I suddenly wanted to tell him.

“Around two years ago, I met Tony at the park while I was out with Sadie.” I always tried to take Sadie out for a decent walk at least once a day. Never forgetting my headphones, though. It had taken a long time for me to be able to go on my own, but I liked the wide-open spaces of the park closest to us, and I never cared what the weather was like. I often got smiles or polite nods, but I managed to keep my distance as Sadie wore a service dog vest when we were out. It was essential in case I ever had a panic attack, but I’d been fortunate so far here and the headphones protected me against sudden noises.

“This guy was jogging and seemed to turn his ankle and stumble right in front of me.” I rolled my eyes at the obvious setup, which still grated. “We got talking and for the first time in a long time, he made me feel normal.”

I looked at Kane, who had simply sat at the table and was listening, but I saw compassion, not pity thank fuck, just a general understanding. Maybe the biggest thing connecting us was a desire to be normal? To be accepted?

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