Page 75 of Wild Nights

"I got the impression that she liked you. That there was something deeper between you. It didn't seem like a fling to me."

He sensed something deep and meaningful because that's what we had. But neither of us had admitted that. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

Joey ran back in. "When's Uncle Eli coming home?"

"Everyone's flying in tomorrow." On Christmas Eve. I couldn't have asked Carolina to stay. It wouldn't have been fair to her. Not when her life was in Maine. But she had mentioned that things weren't great with her mother and sister. I didn't want her to be alone and hurting on the holiday. What could I do about it now? I had Joey to think about, and a family arriving soon. The lodge needed to be ready for guests the day after Christmas.

Xander walked in with his snow gear. "You want to go sledding?"

"Yes!" Joey cried as he ran over to Xander and gave him a fist bump.

The two of them left the room, but I was shell shocked. Had I made a mistake letting her go?

"You should be honest with yourself about your feelings," Marcus persisted.

My muscles were tight in my shoulders and neck. "We didn't have a future together."

"Is that what you're telling yourself?"

"It's the way it is. She lives in Maine with her family, and her mother and sister are all she's got."

"Plenty of people live across the country from their family and travel home to see them at the holidays. Look at Killian and your parents."

"I don't know that she wanted the same."

Marcus rolled his eyes. "You never talked about it, did you?"

"We had an arrangement. You know, we met up when she was in town. That's all it was supposed to be."

Marcus ran a hand over his face. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What?" I asked, panic sinking in.

He leveled me with an exasperated look. "I'd expect something like this from Killian or Xander. Not from you."

"I can't have anything deeper. Not when I have Joey."

Marcus sighed. "So no single dads are in relationships?"

"Well, no," I said thinking of the single dads at Joey’s school that were currently dating someone or even remarried.

He tipped his head slightly. "Then why not you?"

"You know. I have the lodge to run. My family needs me here. I can't move to Maine." The thought was crazy. I didn't like Tina, but I wouldn't move away from her.

"How do you feel about Carolina?"

I'd kept our relationship in a box, trying to compartmentalize what we had. Now that she was going back to Maine, I needed to stuff whatever I felt back in that box, not to be looked at until she returned. Somehow, I didn't think Marcus would appreciate me saying that out loud. "I liked her."

He snorted. "Okay."

"Carolina's great." She was warm and loving; she was amazing with Joey. I thought of her taking the time to make the fort with Joey. How she truly seemed to enjoy his company. She was one of a kind, but she couldn't be mine, could she?

Marcus slapped his hands on his thighs before rising. "Right. I'm going to make dinner. If you want to talk about how you really feel, that's where I'll be."

"You going home afterward? I'm sure you have things to do for the holiday."

"Actually, I don't. Because I let the love of my life walk out of it." He walked toward the kitchen, and I followed him.

---