Page 70 of Wild Nights

"I bet she's pissed about having to cancel."

"She wasn't happy." I wasn't comfortable talking about Carolina at all. I was worried I'd let something slip.

We worked all morning and took a break at lunch time. Inside, Carolina sat next to Joey at the table.

Marcus approached. "Amy and Deacon are anxious to leave."

"We'll have them out in no time," Xander said.

We sat down at the table, and Marcus brought us a huge sandwich with chips and a lemonade. "You're the best, Marcus. Thank you."

"Well, you were the ones doing the heavy lifting this morning." He disappeared into the kitchen, and I dug in.

Carolina had already eaten and was coaxing Joey to eat his strawberries. It was nice watching someone else care for my son. Tina didn't worry about whether he'd slept well or eaten healthy. She didn't lose sleep over whether she was being a good enough parent. Carolina would make a great mother one day. If that's what she wanted to do.

My heart constricted, and my breath was short. I hated the idea of her leaving. It made my throat tight and my eyes burn. But I wouldn't stand in the way of her going home to see her family. Maybe after the holidays, I'd reconsider what my next step should be.

"I bet you're excited to head home," Arthur said to Carolina, and my fingers tightened on my glass.

Carolina smiled politely. "I always spend it with my mother and sister."

She'd mentioned something about them having significant others and her being worried about what that meant for herand spending the holidays together. Did she feel the pinch of loneliness too? Did she long to have someone to share the holidays with? I had to stop thinking like this. Of course she wanted to see her family. Ever since her father left, they were all she had.

I was just a fling she happened to get snowed in with.

"I'm going to miss you. Do you think you could stay?" Joey asked, and for the first time, I wondered if he was longing for a mother.

"Oh, I'd love to spend Christmas with you, but then my mom would be sad. She’d miss me."

Joey's face fell. "Oh, yeah."

"Carolina has a conference in April. So we'll see her then." I wasn't sure if we'd still be talking then or if she'd even want to continue our arrangement. Was I capable of seeing her again and keeping my emotions in check?

Joey’s lower lip protruded. "That's months away."

Carolina looked at me helplessly.

I was fairly sure that Joey would forget about Carolina. She’d only spent a day with him. But I was in a different predicament. She'd gotten under my skin and made me want things I couldn't have. I just had to get through today and the goodbye. Then I could put her out of my mind. I hadn't been successful in the past, but maybe this time would be different.

I knew I was kidding myself. The memories of the time we spent together would always be in the back of my mind. I'd always wonder what if.

"Who wants cookies?" Marcus dropped a plate of decorated sugar cookies in front of us, and Joey cheered before snagging two of them.

I silently thanked Marcus for the timely interruption. It would be easier to deal with Joey's disappointment after Carolina was gone. As a child, he'd easily forget about her. It was me I was worried about.

Chapter Twenty

CAROLINA

The day went by too fast. I played games with Joey, then went sledding again. I enjoyed his company. Now it was afternoon, and we were drinking hot chocolate while watching a holiday movie.

Joey was so tuckered out; I wouldn't be surprised if he fell asleep.

Marcus appeared and sat in the armchair. "You need to go pack?"

My stomach sunk. "I do, actually. Can you watch Joey?"

"I've got him."

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