Page 73 of Wild Nights

"You and Xander live in town?"

"That's right. Xan likes to be within walking distance to the bars, and I wanted a home away from the lodge to raise Joey."

"Makes sense."

We fell silent for a few minutes, holiday tunes on the radio. As we neared Denver, there were lit wreaths on the light posts and decorated trees. I loved Christmas. I just wished I wasn't leaving Oliver and Joey. It didn't seem like the right time to say anything, and I wanted some kind of a sign from Oliver that he felt the same way.

My heart rate kicked up as we approached the departuresarea of the airport. He pulled to the curb and hopped out. I sighed, knowing this was the end, and he probably wasn't going to say anything to keep me here.

At this point, I had things to do in Maine, but I would have appreciated him saying something about seeing me again or continuing our relationship.

On the sidewalk, Oliver placed my luggage on the ground and lifted the handle for me.

I reached for it to have something to do with my hands. "Thank you so much for the hospitality." Inwardly, I cringed at the distance I heard in my tone.

"You get home safe."

I waited a beat for him to say anything, but he didn't. There was a security officer walking toward us, so I slipped my arms around Oliver’s waist, hugging him one last time. I wasn't sure I could continue with our relationship the way it was. I wouldn't be back until April, and it would be too hard to pick up where we left off.

I squeezed him, breathing in his familiar scent. When I pulled back, his expression was tight, but he said, "Have a safe trip home."

"Have a good one with your family," I said as my heart broke a little more.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. He wasn't going to ask me to stay or tell me that he couldn't bear for me to leave.

I could tell him how I felt. But was it fair to say something like that now? I'd go home and regroup. Maybe I'd feel differently when I had a little distance from him.

I turned to leave. "Bye, Oliver."

"Take care of yourself." His words were so distant.

I forced myself to walk away. I should have told him how I felt, but the airport wasn't the right place. It would have felt too rushed, and what could we do about it anyway?

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do next in my life. But I'dneed a sign from him that he wanted more from our relationship.

I walked through the automatic doors and focused on what I needed to do: check my baggage, get through security, and find my gate. I kept my mind focused on the to-do list and not on the pain that was slowly spreading through my chest.

I wasn't sure where Oliver stood or how he felt. He must have seen me as a vacation fling. A good time, and now it was over. I felt too much. I wanted everything. But he didn't want the same.

This wasn't a romantic comedy where my love interest burst through the airport doors and ran through security to stop me from boarding a plane. That wasn't going to happen. Oliver had Joey to think about, his family, and the lodge he ran.

His family would be in town soon, and he wanted to spend time with them. I was selfish for thinking our relationship rated as high as a holiday with his entire family home.

When I was on the airplane, I let the disappointment flow through me. He let me go. He hadn't tried to stop me. He hadn't even asked for an extension of our arrangement or offered asee you in April.It felt like a clean break, and it hurt like crazy.

I blinked away tears, not wanting to cry on an airplane. I'd become such a cliché, thinking I could have an affair and not get emotionally entangled with the man. But how could I not? He was hardworking, caring, and an amazing father. He was everything I'd ever wanted in a man, but he didn't want me.

Chapter Twenty-One

OLIVER

At the lodge, I found Joey and Marcus in the great room with a tray of fresh gingerbread cookies on the coffee table. I didn't feel like eating though. There was a pit in my stomach that had been there ever since I saw Carolina in the lobby with her luggage.

I sat in one of the armchairs, not really seeing what was on TV but knowing it hurt to let her go.

"How are you doing?" Marcus asked when Joey ran to the bathroom in the hallway.

I frowned. "Fine. Why?"