Page 118 of Filthy Little Games

“Oh,micetta mia.I’d want to touch you if his name was written in your skin a million times over. I’m just so damn relieved you’re alive. I’m so sorry, baby. I wish I could kill Emilio and Izaiah over and over again for all the pain they caused you.”

“Thankfully, it’s all over now.” Her shoulders slump, and my entire body tenses.

“I wish it were that easy.”

“What…what do you mean?” she asks.

“We’re going to make this look like a suicide, but if anything goes sideways, it will start an all-out war. I hope not, but if it comes to that, the bloodshed may never end until all of us are dead. I don’t want you or Oriana anywhere near that shit.”

“So…what does that mean for us?”

“I’ll make new arrangements with Gideon to get you and Oriana out of the country. I’ll try to get you on a boat first thing tomorrow morning.”

“So, after everything, you’re just going to send me away? That’s it? It was all for nothing?”

“All for nothing?” I repeat in confusion. “You’re alive. Oriana is going to be with you. The safest thing I can do is send you away. You know it’s not because I don’t love you.”

“If you loved me, then you would want us to stay.”

“It’s not safe. I’m going to prison soon, and if anything like this happened to you again while I was away...”

“It wouldn’t be your fault, Creed. Why can’t we talk about this? Why can’t it be my decision too?”

“Because you don’t know how fucked the streets of New York could get.”

“And neither do you! Maybe the Rovinas will buy the suicide and not question it.”

“We both know that’s probably not going to happen. Saint already hates me. And it’s not just the Rovinas. If Bowen Bertelli is a traitor, then his father might still protect him when I try to take him out. Don’t you see? My life is going to be dangerous all the damn time now, and it always will be until I’m dead.”

“I understand the risks.”

“No, Zara, you don’t. And if anything happened to Oriana, you would blame me, and you’d be right to do so. I don’t want that to happen. I couldn’t stand it if you hated me. So please, baby, just let me make the arrangements for you to leave.”

A tear slips down one of her cheeks and then the other. “You promised me you’dneverforce me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Well, I don’t want to leave you. If you send me away, I willneverforgive you.”

“Good,” I reply, even if her words feel like daggers shoved between my ribs. “Don’t forgive me. You shouldn’t. I don’t deserve to be with someone like you. And you, you deserve to have a peaceful life where nobody manipulates you or forces you to do anything to be with your daughter. I’m so sorry you’ve spent all these years being under Emilio’s thumb. But you’re free now. Take it. Enjoy it.”

Her shoulders slump. “You still don’t trust me, do you? Or is it you still don’t think you deserve good things because you blame yourself for your brother’s death?”

“Zara, I trust you and love you more than anyone else in this world. That’s why I’m letting you go.” Even though my next words will no doubt hurt her, I still say them, wanting to make this separation easier for her. “You got exactly what you wanted from me all along — I stole back your daughter for you and killed Emilio and Izaiah. You’re free now; you don’t have to keep pretending you want to be with me.”

Pressing her palms to the ground, she pushes herself up, wincing and gasping in pain to get to her feet. Then she hobbles toward the door.

And I don’t try to stop her, even though I want to chase after her and beg her to forget everything I just said and stay with me.

But I can’t do that.

Not after all she’s been through the past seven years. It wouldn’t be fair to her to convince her to stay when I know the future is going to be rocky, starting with three and a half shitty years behind bars.

“You good, man?” Dre asks.

“Yeah. I’m good,” I lie as I get back to my feet and glance over at the corpse on the floor. “Thank you for taking care of him. I’m sorry it ended this way.”

“Me too,” he agrees. “But I’m relieved we found Zara in time. You can relax now.” He pats my shoulder before picking up his gun from the table.

It was stupid for me to ever doubt Dre, to think that he wanted me out of the way, so he could take my place.

Nobody in their right mind would want my job as the capo dei capi.

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