Page 105 of Filthy Little Games

“No.”

“I find that hard to believe, since you were willing to ruin your life and the rest of ours for her just a few days ago.”

“Do you want me to shoot you in the face? Is that why you came in here talking shit?”I grumble.

“I’m just asking a valid question.”

“She’s leaving. I thought you of all people would be happy to get rid of her, since you think she’s a liability and blame her for Carmine’s murder. You said she had to go and you’re right. It’s safer this way.”

“And if you listened to me instead of yourself and what you feel about her, then you’re a fucking idiot.”

“That’s it. I’m definitely blowing your head off.” I get to my feet, open the left drawer of my desk, and pull out the spare Smith & Wesson I keep there.

“Oh, shut the fuck up with the tough guy act. And put the gun away. You won’t kill me,” he says. “I know you better than anyone but maybe Tristan. And I know that this whole pouting thing you’re doing isn’t going to end any better than the impulsive decision to kill Izaiah. You care about Zara. So much so that you threatened to kill her to make her marry you, and now you’re sending her away to protect her and yourself. If she’s gone, then you won’t have to actually trust someone not to shred your shriveled black heart.”

Clenching my molars, I grit out, “Her staying with me was never an option. It was stupid to insist she marry me. Sending her away was always the best solution. I just didn’t want to face it before.”

“You could see her again. She’s not going to disappear after the boat leaves the harbor, you know. But you’re too scared that she doesn’t love you or accept all of you or whatever bullshit to even try.”

“Do you want me to go chasing after her so you can take over for me?”

“Vaffanculo. I don’t want to be the boss of bosses. I doubt I could pull it off, even if all the heads of the family were replaced. What I’m trying to say is that maybe I was wrong.”

“About?”

“About Zara being bad for you and your awful ass decision making! My first reaction when you told us about her setting us up with the raid was to hate her, to think she’s the enemy because what she did got Carmine killed and all of us arrested. If the Rovinas had her little girl, then it’s easier to understand how they convinced her to screw us over. She’s a victim here too. And that’s why you married her instead of killing her, right?”

“That’s where I fucked up. We were never an actual couple in a real marriage. She was never anything but my captive and then a woman thankful for someone helping her get her daughter back after she was wrongly taken from her.”

“Yes, how could any woman love the asshole who went out of his way to risk his life to save hers and give her the best gift ever?”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Creed, isn’t it possible that Zara loves you for the things you did for her, the way you treated her, and that she wasn’t just fucking you as some sort of unspoken requirement? I mean, I’ve been with women who aren’t into it, and I don’t know how shit went down with Zara, but unless she just laid on her back, staring at the ceiling, counting the seconds until you finished, then she probably wanted to be with you. Is that what happened?”

“She rode me the first time.”

“There you go. She was an active, dare I guess, enthusiastic participant?”

I narrow my eyes at him. I can’t help but give him some shit too. “Do the women you sleep with really just lie there?”

“I’m only the underboss to the capo dei capi. That doesn’t seem to get them all hot and bothered. Who knows? I sure as hell don’t. Maybe I’m the problem…”

“So, all your complaining about Zara being bad for me was coming from a man who screws women who have less energy than a blowup doll?”

“Basically. Yes.”

“No wonder you’re so damn grumpy all the time.”

“You would be, too, if you could never touch the only woman you want,” he blurts out, then quickly glances away.

“Stella Rovina, huh?”

His fingers pause halfway through shoving them in his hair. “How did you know?” He slumps into a chair.

“Tristan.”

“Him and his fat fucking mouth.”

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