Page 13 of Her Rugged Lumberjack

My thoughts turn to mist, everything melting away as Declan leans in toward me.

I’d risk it all for you.

His words echo inside my head, zipping through my veins. I don’t think. I just let myself fall into him, drinking in his woodsy scent as his hand cups my cheek. His lips crash against mine, kissing me fiercely, passionately. Red-hot desire sizzles between my legs as our teeth clash, hands grabbing urgently at each other, the floodgates bursting open. All the tension that’s been building between us is finally flowing freely, and I moan as Declan’s tongue glides against mine, musk and cocoa. I kiss himback, losing myself in his taste, the scratch of his beard against my chin making me shiver.

No…

A voice in the back of my head is stirring, and I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping it will go away.

NO.

I freeze, my hands going slack on Declan’s shoulders as I come back to myself, panic squeezing me tight.

What am I doing?

I jerk away, breathing hard. My heart is beating so fast I think I might faint as I turn my face away from Declan. It feels like somebody just dumped a bucket of icy lake water over me, and I swallow down the rising emotion in my throat, willing myself not to cry. I’ve spent my whole life keeping my heart safe, protecting myself from this exact situation. I can’t do this. Not now, not ever. No matter how much I want Declan, no matter how good he makes me feel, no matter how much I love being around him…none of it matters.

Because there won’t be a happy ending.

There never is.

“I should go,” I say, my voice so low it’s almost a whisper. My lips still burn where Declan kissed them, and I get up, taking a step toward the door. “Thank you for dinner. And for…for everything.”

“Margot—”

“I’m sorry, Declan. You deserve better.”

Before he can stop me, I hurry out of the cabin and into the dark November night. Holding up my phone’s flashlight, I run over the bridge and through the Christmas trees, past the barn and toward my waiting car. I taste salt on my lips, tears dripping down my face as I drive away from the Christmas tree farm and head for my mom’s house. I can’t face being alone right now. Myheart aches the farther I drive from Declan, but I know it’s my head I need to listen to this time. No matter how much it hurts.

“Honey, slow down,”my mom says, holding up her hand. “I can’t keep up.”

I’m sitting on the couch in the living room of my childhood home, but it has changed beyond recognition over the past few months. The smiling family photos are all gone, and so is half the furniture.

“I met somebody,” I tell her again, the words coming out in a rush. “And I promised myself I wouldn’t fall for him, but I did, and now everything is such a mess.”

The tears fall before I can stop them, and my mom holds me close, rocking me as I cry. It’s a role reversal that I’m not used to, but I let myself be held, finally letting all my frustrations pour down my cheeks.

“Tell me everything,” my mom murmurs soothingly. “Start from the beginning.”

So I do. I tell her everything I’ve been bottling up: Freya moving out, the landlord raising the rent, needing another job, meeting Declan. My mom doesn’t interrupt. She just listens, stroking my hair as I let it all out.

“He makes me so happy, Mom. I love being around him, but I don’t want my heart broken.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks, my voice thick. “After what happened with you and dad, I…I don’t want that for myself. It’s more than I could handle.”

“Oh, Margot.” My mom tightens her arms around me, exhaling. “I’m sorry, baby. This is my fault. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own emotions about the divorce that I wasn’t thinking about how it must affect you.”

“It’s okay. You have a lot to deal with, and I know it’s been really hard for you. But that’s exactly why I don’t want to risk my heart. I never want to go through what you and dad are going through.” I rest my head on her shoulder. “You must regret ever meeting him.”

My mom pulls back to look at me, and I’m surprised by the seriousness on her face as she says, “Of course I don’t regret it.”

I frown. “But you and dad hate each other?”

Mom shakes her head. “Honey, your dad and I had some wonderful years together. We had you!”

“But—”

She holds her hand up, silently cutting me off. “Listen to me, Margot. You can’t spend your life worrying about what might happen in the future. Sure, your dad and I didn’t work out, but that doesn’t take away from the good times. And just because our happily ever after didn’t last forever doesn’t mean yours won’t.”

I swallow hard, running her words over in my mind. “I just don’t think I’m strong enough to take the risk.”

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