Page 71 of Bloom: Part 1

Crowe shook his head. “Who would have thought you would be Bloom’s type? He even listens to you. I can’t get through to him lately.”

“What is this visit about?”

“All right, let’s cut to the chase. What do you want with Bloom? Well, obviously, I can see your interest in him is sexual, but he doesn't have much experience and might take that interest to mean more. I’m here to see he doesn’t get hurt.”

“Rest assured, I have no intention of hurting him.”

But I might anyway.

“I don’t think you’re understanding what’s at stake here, Doc. Bloom’s crazy about you.”

“And I feel the same way about him.”

“No, you don’t.” He rose to his feet. “You have no idea what that boy is like. He has an attachment disorder, which makes it difficult for him to connect with others, but when he does, it becomes an obsession. He’ll have an irrational fear of losing you, which makes him do extreme things to ensure he doesn’t lose you. You think him clinging to you and refusing to let go is bad? It’s just the beginning.”

I held his gaze, even though a chill ran down my spine. “Is that all?”

“He will hurt you and the people close to you who he thinks take your attention away from him. How much has he told you about his past?”

“Not much, but I understand he was abused as a child.”

“Abused seems such a light word compared to what his parents did to him. The state doesn’t even know he exists.”

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. “And you never sought to correct that? You just let him grow up without an identity?”

Crowe’s eyes flashed. “I did what was best for him.”

“How is it best for him to not belong anywhere?”

“He belongs. He’s a part of the club.”

“That’s easy for you to say. Sure, you’re a part of the club, but that’s not all you are, is it? You can walk away at any time, start a new life without a hitch. What else can he be but an obscure biker when, to this state, he doesn’t exist? You’ve used him as a ghost to do your dirty work as an enforcer for the club, but did he ever get a chance to be himself?”

“Fuck you. You know nothing.” Crowe slammed his fist on the island. “You have no idea how I found him. He was barely alive. He almost killed someone once simply because they tried to get him to take a shower. For years, he couldn’t speak, and even when he didn’t have to, he slept in a cardboard box rather than on a bed. I did everything I could for him, including giving him the name Bloom.”

“Then why didn’t you give him your surname to make him feel he belonged to a family?”

Crowe swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He was silent, a conflict of emotions crossing his face. “You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand how you’ve had that boy for what, eight, ten years, and he doesn’t value himself.”

19

BLOOM

The anger and authority in Logan’s voice directed at Crowe made my heart pound. I wanted to cover my ears and find a place to hide. But I couldn’t hide from the sensation Logan’s questions evoked. My chest ached, and tears pricked my eyes. I fought against the instinct to sit on the floor, pull my feet up to my chest, and whimper. He'd voiced questions I’d been asking myself before we arrived in Smoky Vale but was never brave enough to ask.

Why had Crowe never made me a part of his family? Bloom. That wasn’t a real name, and I had no surname. Whenever I went somewhere that required an ID, I had to use the fake one Crowe had made for me. Once I’d overheard some of the bikers in Riverton mention that Crowe wouldn’t adopt me, wouldn’t give me his surname, wouldn’t register me as a living entity because as anonymous as I was, no crime I committed could lead back to someone who didn’t exist.

While their explanation had made sense, my mutism had hit hard as I battled with conflicting emotions about what made sense and what seemed cold. I wasn’t just someone who killed.I wanted to belong too. But I’d never told Crowe how I felt, so hearing Logan fire the questions at him left me speechless.

How did he know?

“You think I didn’t want to give Bloom my name? Do you know how many times I almost did? But it was in his best interest that there was no record of his birth.” Crowe sounded exhausted as if he had to pull every word from his vocal cords like a defeated sigh. “I wanted to keep him safe.”

“You’re not making sense.”

“When I found him, many thought it was better for him not to be alive. I refused to accept that and was determined to make him normal or as normal as possible. Which resulted in losing a lot of help along the way. He would seem to be doing better, and then one thing would set him off. We realized it got worse in November. That was the month we found him, the month he killed his parents. And every November, it’s like a switch gets flipped, and he becomes the worst possible version of himself. We had to lock him up and sedate him in November, Doctor. Is that someone you think the government needs to be aware of?”

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