Page 174 of Gunner

“Get the fuck off my phone.”

Saint chuckled. “Seriously, though, if y’all need anything, let me know. I’ll talk to Dove about what we can organize for Ben’s brother-in-law. They might have a better handle on what new parents need, and if they don’t know, I can always check in with Bay and Gerald.”

“Exactly. Saint, one more thing. I need to borrow Bloom.”

I’d heard so much about him and the pain he inflicted on people without a flinch.

“What for?” he asked. “I thought you and Ben would handle things.”

“I want Bloom to terrorize that fucker but keep him alive. When we get there, he should be begging for death.”

“Roger that. Bloom’s your guy.”

“Thanks.”

“No thanks necessary, brother. Ben’s one of us now. His family is our family. We protect and avenge our own.”

If only the world understood this kind of commitment we had to each other.

At the NICU, the world seemed much different to the morgue’s somber atmosphere. Here, life was beginning, fragile and precious. Maybe the baby would make things easier for Bento handle. His sister might have died, but her son still lived. He would need a man like Ben in his life to teach him how to be a good man. To be honest and fair.

I sat in the waiting hall when Jasper appeared, looking pale and dragging his feet, but as soon as he saw me, he straightened, and a hard glint appeared in his eyes.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, his voice filled with venom. “I’ve specifically asked that no one is allowed to see my son.”

I rose to my feet and faced him. He didn’t look like he’d slept at all. His red-rimmed eyes were puffy, and his clothes looked unkempt like he’d slept in them. In a car.

“I’m waiting for Ben,” I said gently. “He’s coming to see his nephew, Jasper.”

Jasper’s expression hardened. “You think you can threaten me because you’re some sort of feared criminal? Ben doesn’t belong near my son. He’s all I have left.”

“He’s not all you have left. You both have Ben. You don’t have to raise your son alone if you give his uncle a chance in his life.”

“He’s the reason my son is motherless!” Jasper’s voice cracked, his vulnerability seeping through his anger. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he wiped them away, trying to regain composure.

“He loved her, Jasper. He’s hurting just like you. Don’t you think this is tearing him apart? Keeping him from his nephew… it’s not what she would have wanted, and you know it. She would have wanted you and Ben to work together to give her son the best possible life.”

Jasper sniffled. “You don’t even know her.”

“Ben’s told me enough about her. And I’ve talked to her often enough. Your wife loved her brother and had a great relationship with him. She wouldn’t want her brother to be shutout, especially now. You need to support each other. I’m here for Ben, which means my family and I are here for you too.”

For a long moment, Jasper was silent, his eyes moist. “I don’t know if I can face him,” he whispered.

“Shutting Ben out won’t bring her back. It’ll only cause more pain. You know deep down that he’s not responsible for what happened. The people who are will pay, Jasper. We’ll make them pay.”

Jasper sighed, a deep, weary sound. “I just miss her so much. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this without her. This was our dream. Get clean, have decent jobs, have a mortgage that’s way more than we can logically afford, and have three kids. She wanted five kids. I told her we would see after we had three. Now I wish I had told her yeah, we could have those five kids.”

“Ben’s on his way,” I said gently. “Will you let him see his nephew?”

45

BEN

I find I still can't commit to Gunner despite breaking up with Ben. Is it really impossible to be with both of them?

Iwalked into the NICU hesitantly, my eyes gritty from crying. Jamie had already spoken to the staff, so a nurse led me through the quiet, softly lit space. As the parent, Jasper had the final say in whether I could see his son. Last night he’d said some pretty harsh words, but I didn’t hold them against him. He was in shock and grieving for the woman he’d loved for years.

“You go through that door, and a nurse will give you the necessary protective gear to enter the nursery.”

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