Page 171 of Gunner

“What about the baby?” Gunner asked.

“He’s in intensive care at the moment but just as a precaution. A nurse will come by shortly to take you to him. I thought you would want to see her first.”

“Thank you, Jamie,” I whispered and took a step forward, only for Jasper to block my path.

“No!” Jasper’s grief-stricken face was a mask of agony and anger, his eyes filled with an indescribable pain. “N-n-no!” he cried out, pummeling my chest. “You don’t g-g-get to see her. This…this is all your fault!”

His words hit me more than his slaps, each one a sharp reminder of my role in this tragedy.

“You’re the reason she’s gone.” Jasper’s voice rose with every word. “You brought her into this mess! She’s dead because of you. My wife is dead, and my son…my son will have to grow up without a mother. I’ll never forget this, Ben, never forgive you. You don’t deserve to see her.Youkilled her.”

Tears streamed down his face. I stood there, frozen, the weight of his words like a boulder on my shoulders. A storm of emotions raged inside me. The guilt and pain were overwhelming, suffocating.

Gunner stepped forward, his voice firm. “You can’t stop Ben from seeing his sister and his nephew. He has every right—”

But I grabbed his hand to stop him, my voice barely a whisper. “No, Gunner. Let’s just go. Please.”

I couldn’t bear to look at Jamie’s sympathetic eyes. “That might be best for now,” he said. “I’ll call you. Gunner, please take good care of him.”

As we walked away, a part of me shattered. My sister, my confidant, my friend—gone because of a chain of events I had set into motion. The burden of that realization was crushing.

Jasper’s sobs followed me in the hallway, a haunting reminder of the life that had been lost and the pain that would linger long after we left the hospital.

Gunner wrapped his arm around me, guiding me through the corridors, his presence a silent support. The walk back to the car felt like an eternity, each step heavier than the last.

I sank into the passenger seat of my truck, my mind numb, my heart hollow.

“Let’s get you home,” Gunner said.

We didn’t speak at all during the drive. Words were meaningless in the face of such loss, and he seemed to get that. He took me to my house, which I was grateful for. I didn’t want to be around all the people back at the clubhouse. I didn’t want to explain and hear their platitudes that would do little to comfort me or absolve me of the guilt that was crushing me.

Gunner led me inside, to my bedroom, his hand steady on my back. But even in the sanctuary of my home, I couldn’t escape the guilt and sorrow that clung to me like a second skin.

“Can I get you anything?” Gunner asked. “We should get you out of those clothes.”

“Yeah.”

Like a mindless zombie, I allowed him to undress me.

“Do you feel like a shower?” he asked.

“Not really.”

“Let’s take one anyway.”

“Zeus,” I said. “Can you find out if he’s doing okay and get someone to bring him? He must be anxious after everything that happened tonight.”

“I will. Get in the shower. I’ll be there in a minute.”

While Gunner made the call, I slipped into the shower but could do little more than stand under the spray. Images skipped through my mind. Of Alice when she was a kid and how she would follow me everywhere. Our fights when she grew wild and untamed in her teen years. The many times she’d run away from home and the moment I’d given up on her. We’d reconciled when she spent four years in prison. Once she got out, she’d remained sober and waited another year for Jasper to get out before they got married and fought for everything they had.

And for what?

For me to ruin it.

“Jesus, Ben. The water’s freezing cold!” Gunner moved around me to adjust the temperature of the water. Shit, I was shivering, my teeth chattering.

The feelings were coming back, the numbness thawing. The intensity of the pain felt like it was shredding my insides.

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